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2020 Wrap

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2019.……….Mid Season WRAP

Wowee what a season so far! Jargan beaten by the Amalfi Warrior in round 3, I tell you I didn’t believe it at first, and then I saw Wayne driving around in his brand new Tesla and now, like the late Davey Jones, “I’m a believer”, Steph you might have to ask your Dad about that reference. This mid season review has become a tradition over the years, a bit like the AFL umpires committee signing off on every dodgy decision made during the weekend. Or Gillon McLachlan denying knowledge of everything, or even Ash blaming the Class 8 debacle on the hitherto unblemished public service record of Mr Ben Button (ret).
But, I Digress
Lets start off by looking at the Power Eight as it stands at the mid-season break.

OK Here we go:

Top scorers of the year so Far;

1   BRAMZ United      2353 Round 9*

2   The Gold             2352 Round 2

3   JARGAN              2351 Round 1

Upset of the year So Far;

     The award must go to our swarthy little Italian friend over carry over champion JARGAN.

An honourable mention however to International Dial Up defeating No Passengers in round 3. Would have won in any other year.

Our Judges were initially deadlocked over this decision and it took JARGAN as Chairman, to vote against himself in order to acknowledge Franco. Totally in character for the great man.

Lowest Score so far

The Panel has paid out early on this one, Steph, with a score of 1447 you can drop by Ash’s desk anytime and pick up your award, don’t leave it too late I didn’t punch any air holes in the top of the Jar.

Honourable Mention, Puffy Shirt 1550

Hottest Streak so Far

Congratulations to BRAMZ united who so far has only lowered his colours to The Gold and is sitting on a streak of nine matches. Closely followed by No Passengers after a slow start to the season.

Kopania award

At this stage it is difficult to go past round 10


Wayne goes with Jack McCrae as Captain who scores 77, and red hot ruckman Brody Grundy who scores 149 and is not even in the leadership group. What was the winning margin? 87 points.

Is this also one of those decisions that is set in concrete at the half way mark? I think it would take an enormous cock up to take his place. Sort of like the decision from Kodak passing on the digital camera patent, that sort of thing.

OK So lets have a look at the impartial Mid – Season report card for 2019. From the Backline.

Saviour Machine   C-

A mid season streak of two was almost enough to breathe life into this season. One hope that he comes back from the break refreshed.

Computer predicts  15-16th

Puffy Shirt      D

Oh Dear, reminds me of the Little River Band without Glenn Shorrock. Last year he was on fire early but he simply was not ready for round one, A Lonesome loser perhaps?

Computer predicts  15-16th

Stephs Squad      B

First year coach, always a difficult task and it’s a long season for the ladies.

Computer predicts  12-16th

One Team Wonders B-

I know John doesn’t read this so I can be brutal. 3 wins in a row John? You should be able to launch from here

Computer predicts  9-12th

The Amalfi Warriors    C

Never gives us too much so as not to disappoint, That’s a solid C from us.

Computer predicts  9-16th

The Angry Penguin          D

Not sure what to expect from the big guy any more, not sure what he is after, Is 9th a bridge too far and can he win the paddle without the double chance? It’s never been done before.

We gave him a D because he is running his team just like his Directorate, Make of that what you will.

Computer predicts  13-16th

Bs Boys    B

Once again destined to miss the finals I fear. From good stock but she could just be the dud of the litter.

Computer predicts  10-12th

The Real Kick it to Goodes    B

Perhaps his best year of recent times, Is in a position to shape the 8 but probably will be dooking it out in the junk finals with the Penguin again.

Computer predicts  5-10th

The Simpsons B

On the slide and likely to miss the 8, unless he pulls his finger out, must be a great disappointment to JARGAN.

Computer predicts  15-16th

The Close Talker        B-

Not a real chance here but is building for 2020.

Must learn to control his temper

Computer predicts  9-10th

International Dial In    A

Some impressive scalps under his belt this year, perhaps he is in fact “Better than Wayne” Wayne Thiele that is.  Being set up to be crucified by the gold in the second semi.

Computer predicts  3-9th

JARGAN         C

3 loses in a row and on the slide. Is he doing too much? Should he have to chose between the media, the foundation and his public service? It shouldn’t be so but I am afraid he is long odds on to be playing for the paddle come August. Something’s gotta give.

Computer predicts  8-10th

No Passengers          C

Destined for the bottom half of the top 8 Just lost too many games early in my opinion. Still better to go out early than to make the final and dog out again.

Computer predicts  3-5th

The Gold   A

Good solid year, from the great man Can see him going deep into August

Computer predicts  1-4th

Black Hats      A+

On ‘Track’ to a title (see what I did there).

Good to see the O’Haullihan go to an arms core. A Lock for the last Saturday in August.

Computer predicts  1-2

BRAMZ United B-

Solid Year from Ash, Not sure if he has gone this deep into August from memory, at least since the fire in the archive room 3 years ago there is no record of it.

Computer predicts  2-3rd



Is The Penguin taking the piss? No Passengers breaks the seal, and JARGAN goes top. Back to normal for the O League.


What a round, Jargan defeats Close Talker by 31 points in a game where Ian had Ryan Burton score 8 DT Points. What might have been, and, we only had one coach who selected Grundy as captain, 298 points, still couldn’t get 2000 DT points.

No Passengers was the big winner again but scored below the Angry Penguin, you could have got 200 to 1 on that happening pre-season. Who’s to say he didn’t? That’s not a accusation by the way, it is really.

And congratulations to the Amalfi Warrior beating Stephs Squad. More to come on that result later.


JARGAN  (1) D Close Talker (6) JARGAN only won this on the selection table, as Bruce  McAvaney often says “Oh he just knows how to win the close ones doesn’t he…” Has Ian found a weak spot in Wayne’s armour? A fall from the top spot again this week suggest he has.

Amalfi Warrior (14) D Stephs Squad (12). We love seeing the Swarthy Italian back in the winning circle, even though he beat new franchisee Stephs Squad.  I was surprised when I found out during the week that the new kid on the block had been locked out of her team for two weeks and was promising big things. Big Disappointment for her

Black Hats  (2) D The Gold (10) Not only a win for Keegan, thank you for your service, but also places the Gold, yes you heard me right, The Gold, into the drop zone, now only 0.3 percentage points on top of the Real Kick it to Goodes. 

BRAMZ UNited  (3) D B’s Boys (4) Highest score of the round for Ash and a not too unexpected result. I would like to say Ash’s humility makes this sore even more pleasurable for the fans, but of course I can’t because that’s not true.

International Dial-In  (8) D The Simpsons (5) Didn’t see this coming, plus a score of only 1810 for the ‘Dud’ brother.

Clancy is on a roll at the moment

Angry Penguin  (11) D Puffy Shirt (15) Angry Penguin with 2031 points has firmly stamped his mark on this competition putting away the second of the two ‘Dud’ brothers in this competition. There is talk of a merger between Puffy Shirt and the Simpsons in the not too distant future.

No Passengers  (9) D Saviour Machine (13) Steve still can’t outscore The Penguin but continues to sneak in against lower ranked opponents.  Sure he may make the eight but what’s the point really

Real Kick it to Goodes  (7) D One Team Wonders (16)

This was a strange game indeed, Historically 23% of coaches nation wide had Grundy as captain yet in the Oberon League Ben was the only one, 298 pts and still only 1957 DT points.

Once again this year we feature the Power 8tm, which takes into account, not only scores, win/loss, but also strength of opposition, and as in the winter Olympics, Style and thing we like to call  ‘Savoir-faire’.

POWER 8 Round 8

1 AMALFI Warrior NEW
2 BRAMZ United +1
3 Black Hats No Change
4 ANGRY Penguin +3
6 The Real KITG NEW
8 International Dial-In NEW

IN: KITG, Amalfi Warrior, International Dial-In

OUT: The Gold, The Simpsons, Stephs Squad (Omitted)

***Frank, your numbered certificate notifying you of your number one position in the Power 8 is on its way.

Game Of Thrones Round

Match of the Round

John Snow  (JARGAN)(2) V Little Finger (FRANCO) (14)

This is an interesting clash on paper, fans have been saying that John Snow knows nothing for weeks now, and losing top spot on the power 8tm to Little Finger has only ramped up Waynes’ desire to score big this week. Little Finger on the other hand, see what I did there?, has exhibited some well deserved form of late. But no one really expects John Snow to NOT be the last one standing right? Frank, for you…”Winter is Coming”  Wayne by 100

Barristan Selmy (Close Talker)  V The Gold (Joffrey )

Barristan was always a bit player, he once even said “Even now I could cut through the five of you like carving a cake!” I have seen you carve a cake Ian, and it’s not pretty. As for Joffrey you don’t want to get close, just stayin. Of late Joffrey has choked as if gagging on a chalice handed to him by Peter Dinklage. What a setup that was. The Gold should win this but Barristan is, oppps sorry was, a fighter and I can see him coming out swinging on the day. Barristan by 40.

Briennne of Tarth (Steph) 12 V  Daenery’s Targaryen, (BRAMZ United) 1st

New comer Brienne exhibits loyalty and bravery in front of adversity, (For a girl) and we all know that the Mother of dragons, whilst quite insane will still be standing next week. Not saying Ash is insane but, have you seen the class eight contract? If there were to be an upset this could be the one however. It all depends on which Daenerys turns up on the day. We think the bat shit crazy Daenery’s will beat Brienne by a neck, that’s around 40 points to you

Arya Stark (Black Hats)  (3) V  Yagritte (the Simpsons) (6)

Yagritte is famous for hesitating at the crucial moment, just when all she had to do was aim and shoot, we all know someone like that right? Right? Anyway Keegan is at the top of his game at the moment, Although in my day mate we didn’t have automatic gear boxes and steering wheels, just sayin. We expect Arya to do to Jarryd what she did to the White Walker King, that’s right gut him like a 2 day old lamb. Keegan by 100

Cersi Lanaster (B’sBoys)  (110V Ramsey Bolton (Puffy Shirt) (15)

Bianca has promised much in the past, very similar to Cersi to be honest and while I didn’t expect her to survive episode 5 I didn’t think she would go out so pathetically, in a collapsing building can you believe? anyway Ramsey didn’t last this long either. As for Phil he is the direct opposite of his character to be honest, he’s scared of hounds and is very much the ‘Beta’ Male unlike his brother. We Think Cersai deserves another week and to let her go out with a bang. Bianca by 200 points.

Bran Stark (International Dial-Up ) 8th V  Grey Worm (Saviour Machine) 13

Bran is a top 8 player now and looks like surviving the carnage at this stage, but I am not putting his left testicle on it Grey Worm on the other hand has just seen the love of his life decapitated, how that will effect him at the selection table is still unknown, (Don’t trade Angry my friend) Clancy seems to be able to tell the past to a 98% accuracy measure, the future not so much. We are going with Grey Worm in this in a huge upset. 56 points

Tyrian Lancaster (Angry Penguin) 9 V Sansa Stark (One Team Wonders) 16

Tyrian is a little man with ipso facto a little heart, the perfect match for the Angry Penguin really, up against Sansa, Both still very much alive coming into episode 6. Dean has been lucky of late and John is slowly increasing every week, by week 257 he should be challenging Tyrian on equal terms. This is a big one though, the internet is evenly divided on these two. We cant forgive Tyrian however for murdering his father while he was taking his morning ablutions. So at this time it’s One Team Wonders by 120

Khal Drojo (No Passengers) 7th V Hodor (KITG) 5th. Match of the round in any of the seven kingdoms had the grounds been available. Khal has limped into episode 6 and you just know he is in for the chop, having said that I don’t even know who Hodor is? But this is O League DT football and miracles can, and sometimes do happen. We think here at the citadel, or what remains of it that Steve is less potent than he used to be, one could say impotent , I did it again, and Hodor is destined to get a speaking part in the prequel, currently in development. Hodor by 20 points

Summary Round 4

The Simpsons  (6) D Puffy Shirt (13) We would like to say that we didn’t see this coming, but, sadly we did. Puffy Shirt had as much chance in this one as a black man has of gaining entry to NASA’s space program.  Or even ‘Lego Masters’ lasting more than one week on Nine’s premier channel before being rostered off to GEM on a Sunday morning wedged between repeats of 2 Broke Girls and ‘Suncorp’ Super Netball.

International Dial in (5) W Black hats (1) Choice of Captains played a part in this one although not enough to explain Keegan’s form loss between last week and this. Perhaps Black Hats was thinking about this weeks clash with JARGAN, instead of the matter at hand. Clancy on the other hand is hotter than a junkies spoon at the moment.

JARGAN (2) D B’s Boys (11) Bianca was literally that’s right literally, caught between a rock and a hard place with Brodie Grundy as VC and Lochie Neale as Captain, in the words of Peter Landy, 78 and 76 DT Points each of two. The wiley old veteran JARGAN took the chocolates by naming ball magnet Adam Treloar Vice Captain on Wednesday and took the 112 on offer. That’s good DT coaching right there.

Angry Penguin (6) L  Stephs Squad (7) well whatever was holding Dean up previously has finally subsided, and it appears that he will be ‘Dominating the Dojo’  in August, during the early games, once again this year. As for Steph, she appears to be holding her own but the girls do historically struggle with concentration in the back half of the year.

The Real Kick it to Goodes (10) D The Amalfi Warrior (12)  Where do we start with this one, Choice of Captains? Perhaps. But more so too many distractions at home in this correspondents opinion. Frank, take some time off, play some golf, watch some footy, oops you do that anyway. But 200 points, against KITG? Really?

One Team Wonders (16) L The Gold (4) by 30 points. What could have been. It came down to Captains in this one. It seems Dave is starting to rely a bit on luck these days. This should have been over by quarter time and just 12 months ago it would have.

Saviour Machine (14) L BRAMZ United (3). BRAMZ just going about his business at the moment, I get the feeling he isn’t really interested at the moment, just doing enough though. A bit like the class 8 contract really, slap dash, some APS 4 will make it work.

No Passengers (15) V The Close Talker (9) On paper this should have been a walk in the park for the Talker. Steve was on a real bummer and we couldn’t see where his first win was coming from. Then Close Talker lays down and history is made.

Once again this year we feature the Power 8tm, which takes into account not only scores, win/loss, but also strength of opposition, and as in the winter Olympics, Style and thing we like to call  ‘Savoir-faire’.


2 International Dial-In +3
6 The Gold +2
8 Kick it to Goodes NEW

IN: Puffy Shirt, Kick it to Goodes

OUT: ANGRY PENGUIN, Close Talker (both Omitted)


Co-Match of the Round One

JARGAN V BLACK HATS. Worthy of Match of the round in any DT era. 1st V 2nd. Computer says Keegan but traditionalists going for the carryover champion JARGAN. I tend to think that Wayne keeps things back just for big games like this, I don’t think he is ready to hand over the baton just now. As for Keegan, can an apprentice ever exceed his master? And why is it illegal to travel down a road in reverse, when your following the direction of the traffic? And, what if Keegan became a Veegan? Just a random thought there. JARGAN by 80 pts

Co-Match of the Round One

No Passengers (11) V The Gold (4) traditional rivals, both have won at the highest level, and both have lost to JARGAN on that last Saturday in August. A bit like wrestler George Lacky from Latvia really, he seemed to exist just to be beaten by Mario Milano.  Steve and Dave, Wayne is your Milano if you will. Who wins? Well it doesn’t really matter does it.

B’s boys V Stephs Squad (12th V 7th) Clash of the fairer sex, of course we treat all genders equally here at the Oberon League. I would ask however that you be off the ground to allow the men to train by 5PM, oh and you can leave the tuna sandwiches at home, they never get eaten.

As for the game Stephs squad are well in the eight and seem to have taken the spot that we were all thinking would be Bianca’s based on her previous form.  Stephs Squad by 20 points

The real Kick it to Goodes  (8) V BRAMZ United (3)

This one is personal, Ash has owned Ben over the years, but there was one time…….and I feel that BRAMZ always has that in the back of his mind, right there with the class 8 debacle and AROD. As for Goodes, he is starting to believe in the process, what ever that means. We are however going for Ash again to beat Ben by ohh 120-130 points?

Saviour Machine (15th) V Puffy Shirt (14th)  

This one is hard to pick, Michael has been in this competition since day one and newcomer Phil from Hastings  has seen better days, as a matter of fact the last time anyone from Hastings won on the big stage was when the Normans beat the Saxons in the wet in October 1066 So we are going with Saviour Machine in this by @ 60 points

One Team Wonders (16) V The Simpsons (5) The third member of the trilogy , some would say the ‘Dud’ brother is up against John’s One Team Wonders this week in what should see a win for the young fella. But wait, experience must mean something surely. As a well known scribe once said, “You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn’t your sport.” I live my life by that credo. One Team Wonders by 89 points

International dial-in (6) V Close Talker (10) Probably the close one for the week. Clancy once compared himself to the great JARGAN, some here still remember that, Wayne for one. But Close Talker wants to let his performance speak for itself, and let me tell you Ian, it has. You’re 10th.  So what do we here at HQ make of this one    I feel that Clancy is in the eight to stay and will have enough in the tank to just get over Ian to the tune of 30-40 points.

Angry Penguin (9th) V The AMALFI Warriors (13)  How will the Long weekend fixture play with Deans mind? He reminds me of Peter Weir sometimes, Peter directed ‘Dead Poets Society’ in 1986. It one every award except best director, It must have made itself. A bit like Deans team really. As for Franco, mate you have to stress less, get away from the pressures of coaching for a while and then come back. Y’know play golf, go to the footy, play some cricket, oh wait that’s your normal day. I’m struggling with this. Amalfi Warrior to get the win by 50 points


“Arguably the Oberon League is the most even professional sports competition since the New York Outlaws dooked it out in a best of seven series against the Los Angeles Thunderbirds in Australia in 1969? With JARGAN being compared to that little master of the rink Ralphie Valladares in some circles. “..High Praise Indeed

Microsoft Word – round 2.docx


2019 BABY!


WOWEE what a start to the season, The Gold breaks 2350 and Jargan, who struggled for 15 years to join the 2300 club himself smashes that barrier in the very first round, in defeating traditional rival No Passengers. On the other end of the scale ‘Puffy shirt’ struggled to 1500 in a performance that may very well count as ‘Not being ready’ for the first round. There’s an award for that.

Summary of round one
No Passengers Defeated by Jargan in the Grand Final Replay. Same game same outcome and as an example of the decline of the former champion, we have exhibit one.

Exhibit One

The Angry Penguin defeats crowd favourite Kick it to Goodes. This is a typical early result for the big man; he generally doesn’t take control of his squad until round four and that normally sees him deteriorate.

International Dial-In (Thank you for your service) is back ‘In-Country’ and defeated, yes that’s right, defeated One Team Wonders to earn the prestigious ‘Coach of the Round’ award for the fixture.

B’s Boys defeated Saviour Machine in the clash of, the co- tenants. A further indication that Bianca is on the ‘cusp’ of something big this year. Like an idea who’s time has come, if you will.

Black Hats (Thank you for your service) ran right over Puffy Shirt to the tune of 700 points. I knew something was wrong with this game when Phil told me on the Wednesday that he was picking his own team this year, ‘nuff ‘ said. Good score by Black Hats by the way.

The Simpsons beat a very impressive new ‘freshman’ team Stephs Squad. Both scored well enough to have confidence going forward in our opinion.
BRAMZ United defeated Close Talker, who may have already won the ‘Dummy Spit ‘ in an outstanding rant against the umpires in the Swans Crows match on Saturday night. Impressive return that.

The Gold with the high score of 2352 is back in town after beating the Amalfi Warrior. I didn’t pick this myself but have to say well done Dave. Lets hope it’s not a false flag as to your season.

Once again this year we feature the Power 8tm, which takes into account not only scores win/loss put also strength of opposition and, as in the Winter Olympics, Style and thing we like to call a certain ‘Savoir-faire’.




NoPassengers V International Dial-In. (Match of the round). Congratulations to Clancy on his first main event. It does my heart good to see the young man come good, but I am reminded by the words of Susie O’Neal after Inge De Bruijn, broke seven world records in 6 months. “Looks a bit suss to me.” Lets hope Clancy’s form change is all above board.
International Dial-In by around 80, if it’s legal.

JARGAN V Angry Penguin. Two power 8tm teams and first up winners, worthy of ‘match of the round’ in any other week. What then do we make of the Penguin? And why suddenly a desire to mix it with the big boys? I don’t buy it myself, we think it was a mistake and expect the ‘Foundation’ to roll over the top of the big man this week.

JARGAN by 200.

The Real Kick it to Goodes Vs B’s Boys.
This is a game that two years ago would not have raised an eyelid, but now with both coaches seemingly on the right track we can safely say, ‘we have a match’. B’s Boys for us by, oh, around 120-150 points.

One Team Wonders V Black Hats.
1st V 13th, hard to get enthused really, unless of course we realise that Black Hats cannot improve on their position, but OTW certainly can. Yes I see the logic there, sort of like the person that said Division should be calculated before Multiplication. What if he was wrong? What would that mean to our KPI’s? Anyway
Black Hats seem unbeatable right now BH by 200

Saviour Machine V Stephs Squad. Welcome to the Bigs Steph. Saviour Machine has been a stalwart of this competition since day one. He is in a good space right now, in fact I am reminded of a quote by David Bowie “You would think that a rock star being married to a supermodel would be one of the greatest things in the world. It is.” Anyway having said that we believe that beginners luck will continue this week, remembering Steph, that it took me more than 6 years to pick Ashley, I am going for Stephs Squad to defeat Saviour Machine, without any real confidence, by about 25 points

Puffy Shirt V Close Talker, ‘A race to the bottom’, These two were both in the very first Power 8tm this time last year. What has happened since? Well Close Talker has consumed himself with bile and hatred re Max Gawn and

Umpires in general and has therefore taken his eye off the ball, and Puffy Shirt has decided to take responsibility for his own actions. Recipe for disaster right there.
Close Talker by 160

The Simpsons V the Amalfi Warriors
7th V 15th sort of speaks for itself really, The Amalfi Warriors keeps bobbing up like a red headed step son, you sort of have to look after him but you wish you didn’t have to. Simpsons by 300, with confidence.

BRAMZ United Vs The Gold
How did we forget this one? 2nd V 3rd, BRAMZ is back in town and the Gold top scored last week, perhaps with a bit of charisma both these two could be stars of the competition. However they would rather make what should be a celebration of footy as popular as writing an essay on what I did on the holidays on your first day back at school, when all you did was play ‘Fallout’ 24/7.

The Gold by 200

WOWEE, Christmas has come early. I have hardly, if ever, seen a first round so Drama packed. With new franchise, the real Kick it Goodes being voted, by you the DreamTeam fan,  as being the coach most likely not to be ready  by round one (again), AND also the draw tossing up last years Grand Finalists, as if by design, in the very first round. Unbelievable. One of these two teams may very likely be outside the top eight after round one. And rightly so.Also the House of Doust dook it out , I am reminded of a truism, ‘A house divided…is worth two in the bush. No wait I have that wrong. Anyway a very warm welcome  to Stephs squad, we will let her off with the absence of an apostrophe in the appropriate place for this week only :(. Steph, Uncle Dean is waiting for you, he loves new coaches.Anyway lets have a look at round one,  our selections, at this early stage, are in bold:
JARGAN V NoPassengers (Match of the round)The real kick it to Goodes V The Angry PenguinOne Team Wonders V International Dial-InSaviour Machine V B’s BoysPuffy Shirt Vs Black Hats
The Simpsons V Stephs SquadThe real Bramz United V The Close TalkerThe Gold V The Amalfi WarriorsSome of the answers to your questions will be answered, I think by the end of next weekend. Most notably:Will Close Talker find a place for Max Gawn?Will the Pollock Dynasty continue?When do we here at HQ put our clocks back, or is it forward?Amalfi Warrior, does he get an award each year regardless of how he performs?The JARGAN Foundation, is it insolvent? AndWhat happened to BRAMZ united
The Front


A recent Poll has indicated that YOU, the sports fan have supported Angry Penguin for the O’Houlihan this year from BRAMZ United and Puffy Shirt. Support for the Penguin came late, strangely from the one ISP but I don’t really know what that means. The Gold, JARGAN and HoFer No Passengers attracted no interest from the fans at all. Is this a changing of the guard for Oberon League DT Football? Are the voters stupid? We think that in the words of former Prime Minister RJ Hawke, “Anyone that sacks anyone today is a mug”

Close Talker gets emotional as he is presented with his Gold Watch and
membership in the exclusive 2400 club by KICK it to Goodes.


Wash up from 2018

Ladder at the end of the Home and Away Season

The Gold D Ruberto 38226 2306
No passengers S Eastwood 38248 2276
Jargan W Pollock 37149 2208
Black Hats K Pollock 37048 2162
The Real Bra… H Is Not The Messiah 37308 2232
The Simpsons’ J Pollock 36909 2359
The Angry Penguin D Herbert 35817 2055
Oval Lords S Maloy 36105 1925
The Close Talker I Lee 35359 2075
the opposite P Lewis 35283 2139
The Stars Ar… M Doust 34993 1965
B’s Boys 2018 B Doust 35114 2096
BRAMZ United B Button 32550 2107
oneteamwonders J Brooks 32998 1754
Amalfi Warriors F Ripa 32308 1929
Internationa… C 31506 1545

Award Winners 2018

O’Houllihan Cup

Runner Up
No Passengers

Lifetime achievement award:
Oval Lords
Mussolini Medal:
Amalfi Warrior
The Gold
Sam Stosur Award:
Real BRAMZ United
Star of Courage:
No Passengengers
Dummy Spit:
Close Talker (Max Gawn)

Minor Premiers:
Angry Penguin

*Post Gold Era

“Thanks to everyone for their well wishes Congrats to Steve on a great game that came down to the last minute on Sunday, see you at the HOF dinner Steve, the Red is on me!!”  JARGAN (Champion 2017, 2018)

OBERON LEAGUE (ink 1873)UPDATEFINALS SERIES 2018SEMI FINAL WEEK For all the finalist it’s important to remember the inspirational words from Patches himself ‘if your going to become a true champion of the O League you have to remember the 5 D’s Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and Dodge’…..Great words indeed!  Division 1 Finals Week Two  Patches O’Houlihan Trophy   And then there were 6. Yes, as much as this is an exciting time of the year, where supporter’s hopes soar higher than a Celine Dion ballad, there is also heartbreak as we say goodbye and farewell for season 2018 to Ash and The Real Bramz United and to Phillip and The Opposite. In emotional scenes reminiscent of Pushed in the Backs final game Bramz supporters were seen burning effigies of the coach, some even comparing it to the heartbreak surrounding our own Guy Sebastian being beaten in the Eurovision song contest. Strong emotions indeed! Good luck to both Ash and Phil as they try and rebuild to come back bigger and better next year. The Jargan Foundation has reached out to both coaches. The other Elephant in the room that has to be addressed is the allegations levelled at HOF and Premiership coach Jargan that he has genetically compromised the O League in order for a Pollock to win the premiership. He has denied all allegations against him claiming the fact that 3 Pollock’s remain on his side of the draw is simply luck! One thing is certain a Pollock will play in the GF. Jargan has issued further denials that the family regularly holidayed on the island of Dr Moreau. The League hierarchy have cleared Jargan of any wrong doing. ‘Nothing to see here, play on’ was the comment from league Commissioner Ben Button.  Semi Final One – No Passengers v Oval Lords. What a mouth-watering match up we have here with two foundation clubs going head to head. Both of these teams have won premierships although the memories of those successes are growing dim given we need to go back to 2014 when it has to be said was a simpler time. Back then the internet ran on dial up and Holden was the leading seller of cars. It’s also important to note that all premierships won in the pre Gold era has an asterisk against them now, a bit like the fast suit era in swimming. Steve has had a well-documented journey in the furnace like heat of the O League and a defeat will almost certainly all but sew up a 2rd Stour, although Ash is certainly throwing his hat in the ring. The Oval Lords will need to improve on their last game victory where they scored 2251, now that’s 200 points away from No Passengers, although Steve’s score is inflated due to the number of GWS players he had, even the GWS club doctor scored 100 given their spiflication of the Blues on the weekend. The versatility of the Oval Lords coaching staff cannot be underestimated either as they can just as easily whip up a sponge cake while taking training, now that’s multi-tasking ladies. Steve will stick to his pre-game routine and belt out the 1980s, Journey, power ballad ‘Don’t stop believing’ (the Steve Perry version not the Arnel Pineda version), but I’m not sure it will be enough against an emerging opponent. Oval Lords by 25. Semi Final 2 – Simpson’s v Black Hats.  Brothers playing off here in the ultimate family rivalry. Although the DNA is the same their coaching methodology couldn’t be more different. The Black Hats (thank you for your service) are entrenched in the traditions of the O League having studied the ancient texts and scrolls that are housed in the league catacombs. These scrolls lay out the blueprint to building a team with break evens, dual position players and the Thursday night Captain Loop hole examined and explained. To successfully complete these studies takes 7 years of toil, think Spock on Vulcan. A highlight of the training is a holograph of Ash teaching the ancient act of the break even, certainly one to put on your bucket list. As a result the Black Hats (thank you for your service) are a formable side with still players on the bench ready to be upgraded. In comparison the Simpsons are coached with no respect for tradition, Jarryd will roll the dice on players at random and operates completely without a safety net with virtually no players on the bench, what other coach would pay $170k for a defender who hasn’t played in 6 years because of 5 knee reconstructions in an elimination final only for him to score 89. He is a gun slinger in the mode of the Angry Penguin, only 500 points a game better! This one is too close to call with the contrasting styles of the coaches but home and away form counts for something and the Black Hats (thank you for your service) did finish 3rd. The Hats by 7.       JUNK FINALS WEEK 2 Wowee what scores we had in the CRAP finals on the weekend, so much so that it is becoming increasingly difficult to determine which is the better series Div 1, or us. On a more serious note we fully support Defence Minister Marise Payne in their mission to wipe out sexist talk in our league and we have appropriately painted our middle finger pink in solidarity. So let us get stuck into the review. This is August, it’s finals time, if you want to play like a girl maybe, just maybe, this is not the league, or the time for you to be on the field of play. Last week Angry Penguin with a score of 2249 put One Team Wonders to the sword in the battle for the west, winning the Richard ‘Dick’ Head Cup as predicted.Close Talker with 2427, yes 2427! Relegated Clancy to the overflow, (see what I did there? that’s why I don’t do matinees), Good luck next year Clancy wherever you are.BRAMZ United defeated the Amalfi Warrior in the close one of the afternoon, Don’t leave town Franco you are still favourite for the Mussolini, andStars are out tonight 2358 beat B’s Boys relegating Bianca to the 2nd semi-final as predicted right here last week.                                                                                       To those in both divisions who didn’t make it any further than the first week of finals we say that Australian sport is chock full of chokers, It’s what you do next that really matters.  Semi Final One. One Team Wonders V Close Talker a fair dinkum conundrum here, Close Talker breaks the 2400 barrier in a season where, for him 1750 was considered a good week, To be truthful I wondered whether we were seeing Bold Personality or Fine Cotton out there, the jury is still out in my opinion. As for One Team Wonders, he came up against a very red hot Angry Penguin on the weekend and fell short as many others have in this division before him.So what about this match? 2nd year coach Close Talker, living in Wangaratta, away from the attention and heat generated by the Oberon League in this city, has time to prepare his men away from the spotlight and scrutiny that may well be focused on John in the city of Churches, a long time Oberon League town. OTW were playing two short last weekend but had an inspired choice of Captain in Clayton Oliver, in fact he may be the only person in the competition without Tom Mitchell. Close Talker on the other hand, if it is indeed Close Talker, has a full squad and is in career best form, this should be easy to pick. Smart money here will wait for the big bets to come in to see if the fix is in for this one, but as for us at HQ we have never been accused of being Smart, we are going for One Team Wonders, yes the Adelaide franchise to bounce back and beat Close Talker in a close one by Ohhh 40 points? Semi Final Two. BRAMZ United V B’s BoysAll is right with the world, it’s August in Melbourne and the great BRAMZ United is playing finals DT football, seems comforting really, they managed to smash through the 2000 barrier against the Amalfi Warrior last week who played one short in what really is an unforgivable mistake in finals football, dare I say ‘Kopania’ worthy? And B’s Boys, champions from last year, went down to a resurrected (Too Soon?) Stars are out Tonight in the match of the round at this level. We here at HQ have great respect for BRAMZ, but even he must admit that finishing 14th, in the lower half of the lower half of the competition surely was not on his radar at the start of the season. Must be comforting for him though that ‘Real’ Bramz United is already on his end of season trip, yes cream does in fact rise to the top.B’s Boys on the other hand concern us greatly, we fully expected her to break through that glass ceiling this year and play real finals. What went wrong? Was last year an anomaly? Does class fade? How can one 18-inch pizza contain more pizza than two 12-inch pizzas?[1] These things keep me awake at night.

Who then should start favourite in this match? I am reticent to pick against a chick in this political environment because God knows if anyone is NOT a misogynist in this league it is me, can you imagine what the downstairs kitchen would be like without the ladies? And who would organize the end of year function. Yes certainly I am all for the Women. But Bianca, I have to go for BRAMZ united in this, he is simply an idea who’s time has come, I would love to be proven wrong but for us it’s BRAMZ United of that ‘one perfect season’tm fame to win by the narrowest of margins 25 points.

Good Luck to all combatants this week.         
[1]    ROUND 17 Done and dusted and still we are no closer to determining which teams will be playing major finals, The Simpsons, Oval Lords and B’s Boys are separated only by three percentage and this week one of them must go. Which one I hear you say? You will have to wait for our selections.This week the Oberon League goes back to a time where players were wingers, not mids; ruckmen, not talls and we had 19th and 20th men, not interchange, That’s right it’s retro footy, the type of footy your fathers watched. The absolute Genesis of Oberon League Dream Team Football.What was it  like? Well here is a teaser;
Dateline ….APR 22 2010From O League Historian JARGAN
“Hi Coaches,Exciting round one with some big scores and very close games. Those teams who had Gary Ablett as Captain scored a very nice 266, well done. The high score for the round was the Justin coached ‘Smoke Bombers’ with 2,074 well done Justin. We also had 6 teams with better than 1,800 so the competition looks like being very close.I have attached a review of each game complete with my tips. I know my insights will be a favourite. Question of the week – Will Jonathon Brown play this week? And if he doesn’t do you hold onto him? All teams are participating for the cash prize so review that strategy and select wisely.”
I apologise for the grammer but that’s the way they spoke back then.

The ladder back in 2010:

Then of course there was ‘The Review’

ASSESSMENTTIPKick it to GoodesVsWhats CookingThe 1st placed Whats Cooking play the 13th placed Goodes here in what appears to be a one sided encounter on paper. Games are not played on paper and I think this could be closer than you think but I can’t go past the cooking pot.Whats CookingScreaming JackassvsB’s BoysThis one shapes as one of the games of the round. Both these sides made the 8 last year with B’ Boys making it to top 4. Both sides have had interrupted pre seasons and will improve. Flip a coin.Screaming Jackass
Galloping GasomatavsInfamousThe Gasomata’s have been flying along through the pre season. But after losing a heartbreaker to the Bombers after scoring 1,900 it will be tense at Arden Street this week. Infamous were brave last week going down by only 4 points in a thriller.Galloping Gasomata
The Smoke BombersvsUnderdogsThe Bombers (Kool Kats and premiers from last year) have been a model of consistency scoring more 1,900 in all 4 games this season and recording the top score of the round 2,074. The Underdogs are capable of some big scores as demonstrated by a season high 2,000 two weeks ago. Smoke Bombers for me.The Smoke Bombers
Bramz UnitedvsBallrooms of MarsBramz United are another side coming off an impressive pre season and are grand finalists from last season. The Ballrooms will need to find 200 points extra this week to be competitive. Ya right.Bramz United
Stars to DudsvsThe RejectsBoth these sides appear evenly matched. The Duds lost scoring 1,844. While the Rejects won scoring 1,835. You do the maths.Stars to Duds
Watch this SpacevsJarganWatch this Space have been a little up and down and are probably a couple of trades from full strength. Jargan seemed to have settled in the 1,800 range. I’m going with the improvers ‘Go the Space’Watch this Space
Stud MuffinsvsTealterrorsThe Muffins are early season specialist and recorded an impressive 1,936 in round one. The Terrors appear to have taken on the personality of their namesake and are up and down. The Muffins by 50 points.Stud Muffins

13th Place ‘Kick it to Goodes’ ? Spooky as that very same coach now in charge of Bramz United is sitting……..13th the hair on the back of my neck just stood up.And who were these teams? Teal Terriors, Stud Muffins (try getting that name through the PC brigade now), Watch this Space, The rejects, Stars to Duds, Ballroom of Mars, Smoke Bombers, Underdogs, Galloping Gasometer, Infamous, Screaming Jackass, What’s Cooking and of course finally Kick it to Goodes. What has happened to these teams? What befell them? I am reminded of a quote from Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society.‘They’re not that different from you, are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you (Sorry Sue). Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they’re destined for great things, just like many of you, their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? – – Carpe – – hear it? – – Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.’
And my fellow coaches, if that doesn’t have you running thorough walls to get onto the field then your heart is not beating.

POWER8tm as at 18 JULY 2018 0123hrsZ
JARGAN 1498pts
Black Hats 1325pts
The Simpsons 1311pts
Oval Lords 1006pts
No Passengers 1000pts
The Opposite 876 pts
Oval Lords 810pts
B’s Boys 800pts
Major changes talking points from round 17 last week are;
The GOLD has lost two in a row and is now being spoken of as being able to influence the final eight, rather than to win the whole enchilada.
The Gold and Real Bramz United fall out of the Power 8, perhaps permanently, depending on form
Three members of the same family take position 1,2,3 Just like ford at Bathurst in 2007 and
The Opposite make an appearance for the first time since round 5
Overheard in the coaches box this week.“How the F%^K can someone dominate the Ruck like Max Gawn and only get 120 pts while sheep that pick a guy who gets 350 points and his team loses. F^&N DreamTeam I’m going to protest  $%^&.”
Now lets get to it.
Match of the RoundOval Lords (8) Vs B’s Boys (9)Dare I say CAT FIGHT, CAT FIGHT two women fight for a place in the O League top 8 is as ridiculous an idea as two boys from Sudan lining up against each other in an AFL match, but deal with it I must. It’s going to come down to which coach has the ability to complete their domestic chores and still be able to put tea on the table and get to the game. We are going for the Oval Lords in this one simply because I have it on authority that they seem to have a lot of free time on their hands at the moment. Oval Lords to solidify their position to the tune of 40 pts
Real Bramz (5) United Vs JARGAN (3)Would have been the match of the round on any other given week but for now must be content with just being the Clash of the Titans. Wowee 5 V 3. JARGAN just came off a big win over the Opposite last week which is a big win in anyone’s language and real BU defeated the legendary BRAMZ United in what was a disappointing match. Can’t see JARGAN being troubled by BU to be honest I mean Ash has been riding on the coat tails of BU like all year and now he has found himself Literally, and I do mean Literally, fair and square in the middle of Jargan’s Killing fields. Enfilade fire and mutual support could see this one get very nasty. We think Jargan by a long way in this, and to our indigenous viewers we must warn you that this game may feature dead bodies everywhere.JARGAN by 200
The Simpsons (7) Vs Angry Penguin (10)The Simpson top scored last week in taking down the once feared GOLD, as a matter of fact in previous years he would have got a suitably inscribed hat, but just like the four minute mile 2300 is far to common now a days to be considered special. What then of this game? The Penguin has disappeared faster than a scone at one of his morning teas, no longer really a contender and we see a big loss for him, maybe 300pts?
Amalfi Warriors (16) Vs The Opposite (6)How is Phil still 6th? I mean I know how Amalfi Warriors are 16th but what the ?.  The Opposite are in the 8 and the Amalfi Warriors, once a feared team in the bottom eight it seems have tossed in the towel, but if they can topple anyone in the eight this could be the one. I like happy endings, I even liked Speed II so if you can believe a cruise ship can be taken over and driven 2 km into a city then you can swallow anything.   AND that’s why I am going for the Italian coach of the century to start his climb off the bottom.Amalfi by 4Pts in the close one.
BRAMZ United Vs the GOLDThe Gold are ripe for the picking against a team that lost to the Real BRAMZ United with 6 players out.Once the mentor Gold is now just another team, albeit a pretty good team, If BU can get their list management right they could make a contest of this, so for the first time I am making a co prediction, If BU still cant get their players on the field then the GOLD by 300.If BU has a full list then GOLD by < 100Pts.
Black Hats  (4) Vs One Team Wonders (12)Trooper Pollock (Thankyou for your service), finds himself up against stalwart One Team Wonders for the first time this year. It seems only yesterday that the Black Hats were just making up the numbers in this competition, but look at them now? Double chance is a fair dinkum possibility here. But what of One Team Wonders 12th on the ladder and producing nothing that suggests he is capable of derailing Black Hats at this stage. But who knows in the fickle game of our, one day you’re a Rooster, and the other day a feather duster, One day a news paper and the next wrapping chips. Shit I can’t believe I almost talked myself into it. Black Hats by 200 and to possibly break 2400.
Close Taker V International Dial inNot being a betting man myself normally but I am willing to put a dollar on Close Talker NOT naming Max Gawn as captain this week, just sayin.  This game is an enigma wrapped inside a falafel, we here at HQ haven’t picked Close Talker all year and am looking for a reason to do so today. Team selection seems to be his weakness while International Dial In had the same problem when he was in Australia so how he is going to go from ‘Parts Unknown’ is unknown. We think both coaches are not TOTALLY devoid of talent but just need another year or so to hit their straps. We think that Close Talker, if he gets his Captain right will break 200 pts and that should by enough to win. Close Talker by 80

No Passengers (2) Vs The Stars are out Tonight (11)Another Game where had it occurred 5 weeks ago would have been a forgone conclusion. No Passengers, while winning, is way short of getting the scores he was getting when he was world champion, although 2300 last week seemed to buck the trend, was it an outlier? An anomaly? Perhaps and we will see the results this week. Stars have been having a less than stellar season, a bit like those kids in Thailand he will need a bit of help in this one.We think No Passengers will win this one but don’t be surprised if it’s close. No Passengers by 20 points

Well the Bye is over and we are back in Competition, with three weeks of non-combative football and one week of home and away battles what have we learned?
GOLD has been defeated in no uncertain fashion by new power side Black Hats, No Passengers lost the Hall of Fame clash with JARGAN in what has become the biggest choke since Greg Norman in the Masters in 96, and previous Power8tm top seed Angry Penguin was beaten by Oval Lords.
Some people have questioned why the AP has dropped so many places in the Power8tm after only one loss in the past few weeks, Perhaps the fact that he lost to Oval Lords is the key to that question.
On a positive not the Amalfi Warrior took care of Close Talker in what was our equivalent of the famous Kreuzer Cup of 2006 and first year coach the real BRAMZ United snuck into the Power8tm for the first time at the expense of defending champion the GOLD

POWER8tm as at 12 JULY 2018 0123hrsZ
  JARGAN 1187pts
  Black Hats 1098pts
  Oval Lords 1076pts
  Angry Penguin 976pts
  Real BRAMZ United 967pts
  Oval Lords 910pts
  B’s Boys 800pts
  No Passengers. 776pts
   The Gold 775pts
Note: Gold is out of the POWER8tm for the first time since it’s inception.

Other milestones from last week include BRAMZ United officially having his worst start to the season ever, The Simpsons top scoring with 2235 points beating sibling Black Hats score of 2234 by a singular point, and B’s Boys really cementing their place in the top tier of the middle tier of the competition.
NOW Week 17!    What a RUSH!
ROUND of the YEAR so far, so many traditional clashes and top 8 defining games.
C0-Match of the round 1
BRAMZ United Vs The Real BRAMZ United. This would be a top match in any era, Youth Vs Experience. The Real BRAMZ united in his first year against former ‘Perfect Season’ and HoF aspirant BRAMZ United.We have been impressed with real BRAMZ this year, but until now he hasn’t been tested. We here at HQ still see the new guy as a bit like the current Little River Band, no Glen Shorrok, no Beeb Birtles or Graham Gobles or even John Farnham for that matter but still somehow singing ‘Reminiscing’ at Bar Mitzvahs and county fares. That’s right we are sticking with the Original BRAMZ in this one, because you know never accept a copy when you have the Original and Class never fades. BRAMZ United by 55 pts
C0-Match of the round 2
Black Hats (4 ) Vs The Angry Penguin ( 8)Two top 8 teams separated by only 6 points which, as we know, is nothing in modern day football. Black Hats took the Gold to the cleaners last week whilst AP went down to Oval Lords in a game where he was expected to dominate given that it’s been a long season for the ladies.Black Hats remind me a bit of a young JARGAN full of optimism and a sense of fair play, like Ron Miller and Larry O’day (Before the latter grew a moustache and went bad), Trouble is that he is playing Angry Penguin who revels in the win at all costs to hell with the rule book attitude of 70’s football, a style we love here at the O League. That’s why we think Angry Penguin will win this one but hopefully Black Hats will learn from it in time for the finals, in which they will both likely match up against each other again. Penguin by 25 pts
Co-Match of the round 3
The Simpsons  (9 ) Vs the Gold ( 1)This is probably the clash that will reflect on who will go into the finals as favourite. Champion and 2500 club member Gold who seems to be passed his best versing probably the next big thing the Simpsons.Had Wordsworth been still around he would have waxed lyrical about this match but as he’s not I will try to do it justice.We would love to see the Gold win this because as Jerry Lewis once said on the Panel, “You don’t Boo champions” but perhaps he thought too much of himself in this regard? A bit like the Gold perhaps?Simpsons is an ‘Idea who’s time has come’ an irresistible force if you like, We see this as perhaps the Gold’s last week on top of the ‘ordinary’ ladder. Simpsons by heaps
No Passengers Vs Amalfi Warriors
Hall of Fame coach ‘Stone Cold’ No Passengers coming off a loss and Amalfi Warrior winning last week must lift Franco’s spirits for this game. To be truthful we selected this game 2 months ago as a certain win for HoF’r No Passengers, but winning form is good form. Had this been played last week Franco would have won by 60 points. That’s a shellacking in this league.We can’t see No Passengers improving by that much in a matter of seven days. Amalfi by 40 points
The Opposite Vs. JARGANThe Opposite has his, or her, work cut out for them this week. I am reminded of the Spartans at the battle of Thermopylae in 480 BC when King Leonidas was overheard to say “If we get within 10 goals of this mob I’ll be happy”. Sadly I think this could be a rout as  the Opposite appears to be jockeying for a minor final double chance. Xerxes errr JARGAN by 100 points
OVAL LORDS (7)  Vs One Team Wonders (12)
Can Oval Lords keep it together for another week, beating Angry Penguins last week was, or could have been, a turning point for them It sure was for us tipsters at HQ, none here gave the girl a chance. And what of the great OTW, founding member of this league with a 3-1-8 record for 2018, surely pride must kick in at some stage.We think that the computer doesn’t take into account the intangibles, the things like nous and experience and it’s for this reason we are going for John to start his climb into the top of the bottom 8. We can’t wait for August 2019.Oval Lords by 40 points, starting to wind up very nicely
 Close Talker Vs Stars are out tonight.This promises to be the close one. The computer is tipping a 9 point win for John which really is like a bobbing head finish, whatever that is. We here at HQ tend to rely on form and tactics, (whatever that is.) Last week was one out of the box for Close Talker  indicating that he should be able to deal with the foundation team Stars.  Both teams can still mathematically make the coveted top 4 in bottom tier. This shit just got real. Stars by 10 points, get there early
International Dial In Vs B’s BoysSometime it’s hard to remember just how slow 52K dial in modems were back in the day, and I have no doubt that B’s Boys stacked team of west coast players are getting around full of confidence at the moment. Clancy probably doesn’t even know the game is on as the Oberon League is only a minor league over there. Maybe two or three pages in in the sports section. That’s why we think Belinda has the advantage this week.  Clancy, coaching from ‘Parts Unknown’ will be too far out of the loop in our opinion to cause any trouble for the rampant B’s Boys. 68Pts

WOWee round 8 has come and gone, and what a week it was. It reminds me of how unlucky some people are, On the very same day that Princess Diana died in a car accident in Paris, Mother Teresa died in a hospital after eating a bad prawn, who new? Not one wire service carried that story. Likewise the Angry Penguin chose to do the un-imaginable and defeat Ashley on the very same weekend that Israel won Eurovision 18, how unlucky is that.
What now for the Angry Penguin?  Does he enter ‘The Zone?’ has he now become the Hunted? We don’t think so, he does this every year, by August he will be 13th and the world will be at peace.
As for last weeks matches what did it tell us?
BRAMZ United , against all odds, beat the boy from Benalla, Close Talker is finding the step in Class to the Oberon League
Oval Lords defeated International Dial Up after delivering one of the great sledges of all time.
No Passengers beat B’s Boys in one I didn’t see coming, coz I was asleep at half time
Stars are out lost to Black Hats (Thankyou for your service).
OTW Lost to The Opposite , I mean fair Dinkum
Simpsons Beat Amalfi Warrior like he was his Daddy, and
JARGAN Lost to the Gold in the battle of the champions.
So where does this leave us.
The Power eight has a few New Members this week based on the KLINE / POLLOCK  rating system.
1.No Passengers –
2.2. The Gold –
3.Angry Penguin +5
5.The Opposite + 2
6.Black Hats -1
7.Oval Lords +2
8.B’s Boys -1
Now for this week

Angry Penguin Vs JARGAN. It’s been 12 seasons since the Penguin has been in a  Match of the Day, and deservedly so. Coming off an outstanding win against a young coach again. What is he doing this year that he hasn’t been doing last year I hear you ask.  Most probably very little as he is computer illiterate. As for JARGAN, we have seen this before.  Win a flag one year choke the next, but wait a minute JARGAN is Hall of Fame and he lost by a wafer thin margin to the Gold, not really poor form is it Bruce?  Hmm but believe me there is nothing quite as unstoppable as an Idea who’s time has come. Penguin, this is your time, your time has come. The Angry Penguin by 50pts, Welcome to ‘the Zone’
Amalfi Warriors Vs The Gold. Oh Dear, Last Vs First, a bit like Senfeld Vs Friends, there can be only one really. Friends was soooo false don’t you think! Anyway the Amalfi Warror has been around since the beginning of this competition, but apart from a brief period in 2010 has been consistently outside the eight. But what about the Gold? Arrogant? Perhaps,  boastful? Almost certainly,  how will channel seven sell this one?  Anyway I think that is we think that the chances of the Warrior to beat the Gold is about the same as Hulk Hogan body Slamming Andre the Giant  at Wrestlemania II, and that happened so it’s possible right?
Well yes I guess so, but will Gold put Franco over? No Chance David by 300 points
One team Wonders Vs Real Bramz United. 15th vs 7th.  But really only 1 1Ž2 games separate these two. OTW is a founding member and Real BU is in his first year in this cauldron that IS the Oberon League. The real Bramz United are a bit like the new Seekers to be truthful, who remembers them, Well I do obviously but they ended up doing cruise ships and Shopping Centre openings. Why he tried to cash in on the BRAMZ United brand name escapes me. OTW to win in an upset and Ash to plummet out of the eight
Stars are out Tonight Vs Simpsons 11th Vs 9th  an old lady at the bank today asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over. Any way this is going to be the close one, Simpsons have the breeding and OTW have the experience. How do I pick this, there is a certain romance in having all the Pollocks in the eight. Put it may also make me a little sick in my mouth. Stars will win this by 40 points
B’s Boys Vs the Opposite. Well this is another close game. B’s Boys are in the eight and a game behind the Opposite, I am looking forward to this one as it will have a huge impact on the eight. The opposite did this last year but eventually got bundled out of the finals in straight sets. B’s Boys are a bit like Flo Jo in the 1988 Olympics, She will win but will it be legal? B’s Boys by 50 points
International Dial in Vs Black Hats. Two serving members dooking it out, this is why we play the ‘thing of ours’. No one tell the  new CDF coz he is against violence, and this game WILL be violent. Black Hats are in the eight, in fact breathing down the neck of top four. And Clancy is 2 places off the relegation zone. Black hats by 90.
Close Talker Vs No Passengers this game would have been match of the round had it been two weeks ago. But this is now and Close Talker has been beaten by an out of form Bramz United whilst No Passengers is on top of the Power Eight. I tend to think that Close Talker has a punchers chance in this one. That is until last week. He is hopeless so it is No Passengers by 250.
BRAMZ United Vs Oval Lords  BRAMZ have the wood on Oval Lords and apart from a brief time in OL’s premiership year, has been able to come out the winner in these games. We can’t in all conscience go for BRAMZ in this one as The Oval Lords are is scary form. OL by 120 points.
Remember It’s only a game, and 2 billion Chinese don’t even know it exists
Is the Oberon League the most even professional sports competition since the New York Outlaws dooked it out in a best of seven series against the Los Angeles Thunderbirds in 1969? Some would  say yes, with The Gold being compared to that little master Ralphie Valladares in some circles. High Praise indeed.
Last week saw BRAMZ united continuing his slide from the Glory years, and that particular perfect season, when he went down to one of the leagues new Marquee players B’s Boys?
Stars are out Tonight had a great duel with International Dial-Up winning by the narrowest of margins, plus a few.
One Team Wonders hung on, or should that be ‘hanged’, I never know, against Close Talker, The Amalfi Warrior succumbed to the Oval Lords in the battle of the sexes, Next time Franco there is no need to tie a chair to your leg.
Angry Penguin lost again to No Passengers, intriguingly NP scored enough points to beat the Gold by one solitary point. He just can’t do it on the big stage.
JARGAN outclassed Black Hats and the Gold defeated the Opposite by nearly 300 points whilst new comer Real BRAMZ edged the Simpsons in a game that never really reached the heights.
Looking at the Live ladder we see the POWER 8TM this way.
1.       No Passengers
2.The Gold
4.Oval Lords
6.Black Hats
7.Angry Penguin
8.The Real BRAMZ United
As for this weeks’ all I can say is Wow Wee what a week.
Gold Vs Real BRAMZ United Two Power 8TM teams here in what should be a cracker of a match. As this is their first ever meeting for four points we have little form to go by so I am reluctant to tip the new kid on the block. Having said that he is playing well…………………..above himself in my opinion. Gold by 200 or so,
JARGAN Vs Simpsons Now this is interesting JARGAN seems to relish skewering his own children, this is A Current Affair stuff really. “And up next a father who takes pleasure in defeating his own children without any thought of the emotional harm he causes: But first Aldi Vs IGA, which milk is cheaper”. JARGAN by heaps
Angry Penguin Vs The Opposite, IS AP the ‘New Sexy’ well really only those that haven’t seen him would use that term to be honest, but he IS in the “power 8” and that means a lot around here. The computer is predicting a very close game in this one with the Opposite not making changes because he believes in his players, and AP not making changes because he is locked out again.  I am going for Angry Penguin in this game, not often I get to say that but I reckon he has one win left in him.
B’s Boys Vs Close Talker Hmmm B’s Boys just beat former Hall of Fame aspirant BRAMZ united last week and Close Talker needs a win real Bad. In fact he has stated that this is his second season defining game for the year, not that his players seem to be responding. Bianca’s team is getting better with every year and may just about be finals bound for the very first time. Momentum is a great thing and so is cream in a can. We think Bianca will win this week by @ 30-40 points
Stars out Tonight Vs Oval Lords. Both Winners from last week, and really that’s all you have to do. Oval Lords are top four in the Power rankings, which should mean that they will start short priced favourites, but, it’s been a long season for the ladies and their concentration sometimes wavers, what with household chores and nesting and all that. So we are going for Stars Out Tonight to come over the top for a hard fought victory, by 12-18 pts
Amalfi Warrior Vs Black Hats Oh Dear, Black Hats were beaten by JARGAN last week who knows what effect that will have on the young man. Amalfi on the other hand is at ‘Sei e sette’, or sixes and sevens to you and me. I think Black Hats on a very bad day is good enough to beat this Amalfi team on its very good day. Still another Mussolini Medal seems a certainty for Frank. BH by 200.
BRAMZ United Vs International Dial up, 12th Vs 16 on 7 Mate, As Clancy once said to me recently “So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means!? It’s not the end of the world!” True but it may be the end of the season if you can’t get over BU.  We think this might just be enough motivation and pick International dial-up by 45-50 points.
No Passengers Vs One Team Wonders, two franchises who have been here since the beginning, No Passengers showed last week that he can bounce back from his annual thrashing by The Gold and One Team Wonders smacked Close Talker in a thrilling match. One thinks that this is No Passengers game to lose, I mean former Champion and Hall of FamerTM and all that, but that was in the day’s pre Dave Ruberto. We think he is vulnerable, that’s right superman without Spinach not quite right if you ask me. We are going for One Team Wonder in perhaps the first real boil over of the season.
What are your thoughts on this round?
Go to to leave your opinion.

General Melchett..Latest 

Melchett has been seen going in and coming out of the Perger Room of late, there may be reasons for this other than a comeback to the OberonLeague but to this journalist it can only mean one thing, He is believed to be  being wined and dined by Hall of Famer JARGAN who has an office adjacent to stall three in an attempt to lure him back to the toughest Dream Team competition in the land.
When asked for a quote for the O League site he had this to say “I don’t care if he’s been rogering the Duke of York with a prize-winning leek. He shot my pigeon!”  Keep watching this site for more General Melchett news….”

 Is the Oberon League the most even professional sports competition since the New York Outlaws dooked it out in a best of seven series against the Los Angeles Thunderbirds in 1969? Some would  say yes, with The Gold being compared to that little master Ralphie Valladares in some circles. High Praise indeed.
Last week saw BRAMZ united continuing his slide from the Glory years, and that particular perfect season, when he went down to one of the leagues new Marquee players B’s Boys?
Stars are out Tonight had a great duel with International Dial-Up winning by the narrowest of margins, plus a few.
One Team Wonders hung on, or should that be ‘hanged’, I never know, against Close Talker, The Amalfi Warrior succumbed to the Oval Lords in the battle of the sexes, Next time Franco there is no need to tie a chair to your leg.
Angry Penguin lost again to No Passengers, intriguingly NP scored enough points to beat the Gold by one solitary point. He just can’t do it on the big stage.
JARGAN outclassed Black Hats and the Gold defeated the Opposite by nearly 300 points whilst new comer Real BRAMZ edged the Simpsons in a game that never really reached the heights.
Looking at the Live ladder we see the POWER 8TM this way.

1.       No Passengers
2.The Gold
4.Oval Lords
6.Black Hats
7.Angry Penguin
8.The Real BRAMZ United
As for this weeks’ all I can say is Wow Wee what a week.
Gold Vs Real BRAMZ United Two Power 8TM teams here in what should be a cracker of a match. As this is their first ever meeting for four points we have little form to go by so I am reluctant to tip the new kid on the block. Having said that he is playing well…………………..above himself in my opinion. Gold by 200 or so,
JARGAN Vs Simpsons Now this is interesting JARGAN seems to relish skewering his own children, this is A Current Affair stuff really. “And up next a father who takes pleasure in defeating his own children without any thought of the emotional harm he causes: But first Aldi Vs IGA, which milk is cheaper”.  JARGAN by heaps
Angry Penguin Vs The Opposite, IS AP the ‘New Sexy’ well really only those that haven’t seen him would use that term to be honest, but he IS in the “power 8” and that means a lot around here. The computer is predicting a very close game in this one with the Opposite not making changes because he believes in his players, and AP not making changes because he is locked out again.  I am going for Angry Penguin in this game, not often I get to say that but I reckon he has one win left in him.
B’s Boys Vs Close Talker Hmmm B’s Boys just beat former Hall of Fame aspirant BRAMZ united last week and Close Talker needs a win real Bad. In fact he has stated that this is his second season defining game for the year, not that his players seem to be responding. Bianca’s team is getting better with every year and may just about be finals bound for the very first time. Momentum is a great thing and so is cream in a can. We think Bianca will win this week by @ 30-40 points
Stars out Tonight Vs Oval Lords. Both Winners from last week, and really that’s all you have to do. Oval Lords are top four in the Power rankings, which should mean that they will start short priced favourites, but, it’s been a long season for the ladies and their concentration sometimes wavers, what with household chores and nesting and all that. So we are going for Stars Out Tonight to come over the top for a hard fought victory, by 12-18 pts
Amalfi Warrior Vs Black Hats Oh Dear, Black Hats were beaten by JARGAN last week who knows what effect that will have on the young man.Amalfi on the other hand is at ‘Sei e sette’, or sixes and sevens to you and me. I think Black Hats on a very bad day is good enough to beat this Amalfi team on its very good day. Still another Mussolini Medal seems a certainty for Frank. BH by 200.
BRAMZ United Vs International Dial up, 12th Vs 16 on 7 Mate, As Clancy once said to me recently “So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means!? It’s not the end of the world!” True but it may be the end of the season if you can’t get over BU.  We think this might just be enough motivation and pick International dial-up by 45-50 points.
No Passengers Vs One Team Wonders, two franchises who have been here since the beginning, No Passengers showed last week that he can bounce back from his annual thrashing by The Gold and One Team Wonders smacked Close Talker in a thrilling match. One thinks that this is No Passengers game to lose, I mean former Champion and Hall of FamerTM and all that, but that was in the day’s pre Dave Ruberto. We think he is vulnerable, that’s right superman without Spinach not quite right if you ask me. We are going for One Team Wonder in perhaps the first real boil over of the season.
What are your thoughts on this round?
Go to to leave your opinion.

Semoga harimu menyenangkan!
(to our indonesian fans) 

Just In….The Opposite to leave team “as is”

Round four and what a competition we have here. The top eight seems settled to me and now we are just debating the order in which they will finish. This week may determine that order.

The Gold V No Passengers This match should really have been over the Easter weekend when Bunnies traditionally have an advantage. I remember one of my old sparing partners Ricky Day once beat future World Champ Rocky Mattioli on points on TV Ringside. One of the worst decisions in the history of that noble sport they say. Certainly shocked me, and that is the level of shock I will feel if Steve manages to get over the top of his nemesis The Gold on the weekend. I mean sportsbet are paying out on the Gold now for those lucky enough to get the $1.15 in February. Anyway we are tipping Gold because that’s how these games go really.

The Real BRAMZ United V Black hats, this will be the close one in my opinion. Just how good is this new coach? Coming off a loss to the girlie team in a game that really was his to win. The league predictor is saying Black Hats by 30 points and that would see RB slip into the relegation Zone. Perhaps still slightly above where his form suggests he should be. Black Hats here at HQ by 30.

BRAMZ United V The Stars are out Tonight, BRAMZ starting to warm up now, he surely must realise that he is only one championship away from HoF entry and ‘STARS’ veteran coach who has forgotten more  …anyway as I was saying, STARS seem to be starting the year of a tad slowly and we know that BRAMZ takes these teams a bit easy, who else remembers the debacle against KITG in his last premiership year, Ouch! STARS in a close one

The Simpsons Vs. The Opposite I was thinking of selling my vacuum cleaner yesterday, well it was only gathering dust at home.
So about this game, Simpsons deserve to be in the eight they actually deserve to be in the top four but hey Beta was better than VHS and look what happened there. Wayne, you may have to explain that. The Opposite by 50.

JARGAN V Oval Lords JARGANS first home game so he gets to raise the pennant. Oval Lords know that feeling and have been dining out on that achievement ever since, will second year blues bite for the HoFer? Think it already has, beaten by the ‘old’ still better than Wayne last week and then coming up against former champeeens the next is officially now a horror draw, he would have pencilled these in as wins pre-season. Too Bad, I have added an ‘L’ to Oval Lords so now it is LOL by 20 points

One Team Wonders Vs. B’s Boys, WOW I have been predicting B’s Boys now for 5 years and it is a pleasure to watch them come up through the ranks but hang on? OTW is a foundation club and they enjoy ruining a parade, well Moomba anyway but as this was before mobile phones had cameras he wasn’t identified. We are going for OTW in this one, as I don’t believe B’s Boys are up and about as yet. OTW by 11 points, Scrappy but close.

Angry Penguin V Close Talker, quite a few variables here, Is Dean locked out and if so is someone else picking his team, there have been suggestions he has a team of monkeys in a room with type writers, nothing about DT here he just does. Close talker it is said is focusing on DT this year so as not to spread himself to thin. Hey Ian IT’S NOT WORKING! I am still not convinced that AP is the ‘Master of his own Domain’ however and am therefore going for Close Talker in not so much as an upset as much but Dean forgetting to log on.

Amalfi Warriors Vs International Dial – In. Bit worried about Clancy being in a different time zone but, should that affect him coming up against cellar dweller AW? Not much money around for the Mussolini medallist to be honest but at least he is in town. But wait a minute Didn’t Clancy school Hoffer JARGAN last week? I think he did… good enough for this humble scribe. International Dial-In will win by the difference between using a 56K dial up modem and NBN, which I guess it means it will be closer than it should be


BRAMZ United Wins and all is right in the Cosmos again

AMALFI Warriors 3 ZIP
(Still favourite for the Mussolini Medal)

​B’s Boys OWN Penguin

The GOLD edges Close Talker

The ‘Real’ Bramz United owned by Oval Lords

No Passengers bores The Simpsons to death

The Opposite defeats Black Caps.

We’re Back Baby !
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Exclusive to
Night of Nights
Presentation Gala (2017)  

Who will be the 23rd recipiant of Fantasy Footballs greatest prize?
The Patches O’Hallihan Cup
The evening started out with the now traditional monologue from ‘Smooth’ Wayne Pollock who has made this Gig his own for the past five years. It’s as if the days of belting out showtunes in blackface never happened. Oh for simpler times before people got offended so easily.

​​Smooth Wayne Pollock thanking the local indigenous land owners prior to the commencement of  the show, whilst at the same time welcoming the LGBTNBi members of the audience with a humorous anecdote about a Lesbian pre-op drag queen which, although we had all heard it numerous times before, still bought the house down. 

First award for the evening .
Once again this time honored award goes to The Amalfi Warrior for another year of being the best finishing non-english speaking coach for 2017. This is the fourth or fifth time Franco has won this award. The O league takes diversity very seriously, It is one of the core values of our organisation and we will continue to embrace it very seriously, or indeed until whatever buzzword the public services comes up with in 2018 is given the big push. (This completed the non-televised portion of the evening)

Amalfi Warrior being awarded the Mussolini Medal
by Hall of Famer JARGAN

For some this is the highlight of the evening when the hall of fame committee nominate one worthy coach to the Hall of Fame, and immortality, certainly in this life anyway. As in the last two years the only nominee, outgoing patron Gary Dowling, was not in attendance and therefore his nomination was rejected under the non-attendance rule. Also this year there was a rumour that a HoF member was being considered for elevation to Legend status, rumours swept through the Fabulous Perger room as to who this coach was until the very last moment, all excitement was misplaced however as there was no nomination by the committee for 2017.

Those lucky few who managed to get tickets for the night all rose to acknowledge this years ‘Patches O’Hallihan’ trophy winner as it was presented to Hall of Fame member, League Historian and Foundation Coach ‘JARGAN’. The one honour that has eluded him over the years was presented  by Last years winner the GOLD. During his acceptance speech JARGAN talked about his youth living rough on the streets in Redfern and how it was ‘this thing of ours’ that most likely saved him from the ‘Thug Life’ that took most of his friends from that time. To that end, in a gesture that surprised everyone in the room JARGAN announced the formation of the ‘JARGAN Foundation’TM which will be used to help other coaches take that next step in fantasy football and possibly even direct them them to the level that ‘I myself occupy’. Inspiring words indeed.
As a Commitee member JARGAN also announced that the Oberon League’s new charity will be officially ‘The JARGAN Foundation’, replacing ‘The Human Fund’, commencing 1 Jan 2018.

Angry Penguin for reasons only known to himself barges on to the stage to congratulate
JARGAN on his first ever O’Hallihan, ala Taylor Swift and Kanye West at the 2009 MTV music awards or, if you will, Molly Meldrum upstaging Samual Johnson part way through his speech dedicating the 2017 Logie award to his dying sister. Ouch! But to be truthful nothing seems to embarass the big guy.


Has there ever been a greater list of examples of courage to choose from in this category in the now 60 year history of this award. Audey Murphy would struggle to get into this final group for consideration. First, the little champion Ben Button AKA Kick it to Goodes, coaching with the most severe case of the Gout seen in this reporters memory, his sibling ‘Puffy Shirt’ coached two rounds from his hospital bed in what would have been a dead certain first place in previous years, The Angry Penguin missed 145 days at work for numerous reasons, of which he was never obliged to explain, but the winner goes to The Gold for working with an un-diagnosed, for a time, broken hand, left hand admittedly, but still above and beyond. When Smooth Wayne Pollock announced the winner you could hear a pin drop. Some have since said that Smooth Wayne Pollock should have waited until interval was over and people had returned to their seats. 


Smooth Wayne Pollock presenting the ‘Star of Courage’ award for 2017
to former elite coach, the Gold. 

​The award dedicated to the recognition that no matter what natutal ability one has that there is still a far greater ‘God Given’ ability neccessary for success. Heart or intestininal fortitude, the ability to fight for every point, regardless of the importance of the match, a certain hatred for losing, one might say fear? What made Ernest Shackleton go on when all seemed lost? DESMOND DOSS at heartbreak ridge went back time and time agin to save 75 commrades, what made Leo Barry close his eyes an leap into the stratosphere in 2005?. Unfortunately this award celebrates the exact opposite of this gift, it is for the rest of us, those that take the path of least resistance, that would rather throw a match in order to get home for the next episode of Game of Thrones TM, just one more scone, you know the one, This year the award goes to The Angry Penguin, no surprise here. A noted flat track bully loses when he should win, If he can’t be 9th then just doesn’t care.

A smiling Angry Penguin receives the Stosur from ‘Smooth’ Wayne Pollock,
nothing to be proud of  here director!


​Similar to the breaking of the 4 minute mile the League has chipped away at milestones every year and 2017 saw the seemingly untouchable 2500 barrier smashed by former elite coach The Gold, to recognise this acheivement the Committee struck a gold medallion in his honour and presented it at the award ceremony. This is a one off minting as the cast was broken into a thousand pieces and thrown to the four winds. Should you want an replica of this award (exact in every way) visit our OLeague shop during business hours


​Congratulations to former elite coach The Gold on his acheivement in breaking through the 2500 barrier. When asked by JARGAN for his next goal Dave, a bit like 7 time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong  (something this organisation still recognises), in that classic ‘Dodgeball’  said ‘well I have won the competition, bypassed the 2300 club, founded the 2400 club and now am the sole member of the 2500 club, I really don’t have much left to acheive in this Sport Wayne’, To which Jargs replied, ‘well  hopefully we will see you in the Hall of Fame one day, like myself’. Which somehow sounded sincere from our 2017 champ.

2300 Club Investiture
As the evening wore on it was increasingly obvious that HoF Coach No Passengers had something to add to the procedings, and when the time seemed right, he stood up and called JARGAN out of the audience. This was not rehearsed and none of the production team was prepared when Steve reached into his jeans and pulled a coveted 2300 Club cap, the last one to roll off the production line in Puerto Rico before a line was ruled under this august organisation, and presented cap #6 to a surprised and humbled JARGAN FC, after being so close after so many years this may very well have been the Cherry on the top of Jargans year. Well played Sir. 

JARGAN and No Passengers with their 2300 Caps


Named after former South American Prime Minister Nelson Mandela, this award is presented to the coach who has done the most to further the traditions of the Oberon League which is best described as “Winners are Grinners”. Traditionally this is a lady’s award which ticks all the boxes  under the Public Service Act and this year goes to 1/2 of Oval Lords coach Susie M. Presenting her with the trophy is Smooth Wayne Pollock.


This is probably the most prestigeous award of the night for those that really had no hope of winning an ability based award. Named after Foundation coach, and multiple HoF nominee,  Ash Kopania. This award goes to the coach who , like Wilton Palmenter, snatches defeat from the Jaws of victory by a decision made in the coaches box. This year 2300 Club foundation member Kick it to Goodes won when he scored 1257 points against ‘Still Better than Wayne’ in a match which could have propelled him into finals in the top 8.

Is this the only award that KITG is ever likely to win? 

Probably the most meaningless trophy in world professional sports, the Paddle was won this year by B’s Boys  who were unable to be present to accept. We congratulate Bianca on being the best of the best of the rest and hope she will now aim higher and look to a top eight finish next year. Something that the director didn’t even contemplate.

That is all from the prestigeous Perger Room, stall three, a place that has become synonymous with sporting excellence over the years. We look forward to 2018 and what may be KITG testimonial year.

​If you would like to comment on this site please do so here, I don’t know where the comment goes but rest assured someone from the commitee will be drunk

Angry Penguin with five leads the Nominations for the O’s for 2017 
Yes just like Michael Jackson in 1978 
Dean is ‘Dominating the Dojo’
Who will Win????



No Passengers


Will 2017 produce the first HoF member since 1997?
Will the Amalfi Warrior take home his third Mussolini Medal?
Who wins the Stosur?
All to be revealed on Dec 8 Commencing at 10am
Live coverage on twittertm 
Week 3

 “ Feck Off   “

 DIV 1 Finals Week Three
Preliminary Finals Week
Patches O’Houlihan Trophy
Week 2 of the Oberon League finals certainly didn’t disappoint with the cream rising to the top. Bramz (one perfect season) gave rookie finals coach John and his team Oneteamwonders a bloody good rogering (pardon the language) winning by 200, ouch!! As a side note I saw John at the dry cleaners yesterday with the Puffy shirt in hand, it has now been retired for the year. The question remains will the Puffy Shirt be back? In the other Semi the Gold coaching from his hospital bed got the job done against a disappointing Simpsons by about 130, it was a bit like watching the Coyote chasing the Road Runner just when you thought Jarryd might actually do it BANG!! a big bolder would fall on him. To John and Jarryd we say , see you next year, and well done.
Preliminary Final 1-Jargan v Bramz (one perfect season).
HOF coach Jargan has had the week to rest up and get his side finely tuned for this match, think Micky in Rocky 3 before the first Clubber Lang fight, that’s the one where Micky died in the change rooms, well that’s how ready Jargan are! really ready! The Wiley veteran has left no stone unturned in an effort to keep his season on track and the dream of possible Legend status in the Oberon League, lets face it no one deserves it more. On the flip side Bramz (one perfect season) coach Ashley is hard to read, in a recent wide ranging interview for this match he spoke of his doubts about North Koreas nuclear capability and about how to back winners at the race track. He also claims to be a horse whisperer! although this reporter was unsure if Ashley is more like the charismatic Tom Books from Robert Redford’s academy award winning 1998 masterpiece ‘The Horse Whisperer’ or the 2002 episode of the Simpsons where Homer claims to be a horse whisperer. All he does, however, is literally whisper in the horse’s ear, “When the race starts, run really fast.”. You only need to cast your mind back to the 2016 Punters Club night held at the prestigious Moonee Valley Tabaret where Ashley took to the dance floor shirt off while belting out a rendition of the Cold Chisel classic Flame Trees to know where our vote is going. Bramz by 15 to end the dream for HOF coach Jargan.

Preliminary Final 2-No Passengers v The Gold.
As much as things change they also stay the same, both of these sides played off in prelim last season but with very very different results. The Gold went on to win the 2016 Patches O’Houlihan trophy, while No Passengers coach Steve (3 time most boring coach) collected the Stosur, yikes!! it is a bit like comparing Brad Pitt to the Elephant Man, just saying! On form both sides have been scoring almost the same with 2200+ being the order of the day. The Gold has continued to coach from his sick bed in what can only be described as one of the most courageous displays in O League history, well played Sir. The talk around the league is who can hold there nerve best particularly after last years mauling that Steve received, he now has as much confidence as Maverick after he killed Goose by flying straight into the jet wash (who does that??) obviously the counselling has helped but a consecutive Stosur may be an absolute disaster for this HOF coach. Quite frankly I don’t like to think about it, fortunately ‘support’ is one of the key values of all Oberon League coaches so lets get behind Steve in this very public battle. The Gold by 150.
To all coaches good luck and remember the 5 D’s
Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and Dodge
The one nobody cares about
Preliminary Final Week, where traditionally the best DT football is played, in the best conditions.
It’s at these times I think of the fallen, that’s right those who either gave up because they didn’t want the ignominy of winning the Junk GF or simply weren’t good enough: to those coaches I am reminded of the immortal words of the ‘Hanging Judge’, Judge Roy Bean when he said, and I quote
“ (Insert coaches’ name here), in a few short weeks it will be spring.
The snows of winter will flow away, the ice will vanish, the air will become soft and balmy.
The annual miracle of the years will awaken and come to pass.
The rivulet will run its soaring course to the sea.
The timid desert flowers will put fourth their tender shoots.
The glorious valleys of this imperial domain will blossom as the rose.
From every tree top, some wild songster will carol his mating song.
Butterflies will sport in the sunshine.

But you (Insert coaches’ name here) will not be there to enjoy it. Because I command the sheriff of the county to lead you away to some remote spot, swing you by the neck from a knotting bough of some sturdy oak and let you hang until dead.

And then (Insert coaches’ name here), I further command that such officers retire quickly from your dangling corpse, that vultures may descend from the heavens upon your filthy body until nothing is left but the bare, bleached bones of a cold-blooded, blood-thirsty, throat-cutting, side winding, murdering S.O.B”
In other words don’t miss out on something that you may never get to see again…..
So to Angry Penguin, Amalfi Warrior, Still better than Wayne and Boys keep Swinging it’s Haste la Vista baby.
Now down to the nitty gritty
Oval Lords V B’s Boys.
Battle of the women, yes we have never had a game like this before, winner of the toss gets to choose ends and the loser has to bring a plate. There may well be shorter quarters, a smaller footy, modified rules and 25 meter penalties but hey, it’s still football, sort of.
And what an appropriate match up considering the Oberon Leagues’ commitment to equity and diversity. A virtual safespace for our girls.
Both these teams are considered foundation clubs in this competition and Oval Lords are a former division A Winner, although there is an asterix against their name on the championship board because of their refusal to play off the white tees in the GF that year. Never the less winners are grinners we say. It doesn’t matter  how you get the win just so long as they hand you the trophy at the end of the day.
B’s Boys are a fan favourite but have never finished this high in the standings, she has always fallen just short of glory, given that this is just junk finals there is no glory on the line here Bianca, sorry.
We think here at HQ that B’s boys will need a bit of luck this weekend to win over the great Oval Lords and advance to their first Grand Final, for want of a better term, but we think it is possible and well worth an offset bet if the odds were good enough, But we are going for Oval Lords to continue their march back into division one with a 25 point victor

KITG V Close Talker
Well who would have thought this after the first 4 weeks, Close Talker inside the four and KITG winless, well that’s how I remember it and I’m not really the sort of person to look things up, too much to do.
What went wrong for the kid from Wangaratta? It seems like once everyone realised that if you pull the footy away everytime he comes in for a kick, like Lucy did to Charlie Brown, he would fall for it every time, couldn’t help himself, enough said about that, I think I have made my point.
As for K.I.T.G II, once only one refresh away from a grand final birth, he must be pumped for this weekend, he needs this win, and he seems genuinely pleased to be playing meaningless ‘finals’ football, a bit like Bret Lee, celebrating like he’s Dennis Lillie, after taking three Zimbabwe wickets for 165 on a Darwin green top.
Lets just hope both boys can prove that they were born in Australia.
As to the match itself it will have very little to recommend it, unlikely to be placed in a time capsual to be opend in 50 years, but never the less a crack at the time honoured paddletm awaits the winner, and they get to play against a girl, bonus!
We here at HQ are going for the Wangaratta Kid, that’s right Close Talker in a match that may go deep into Sunday afternoon, by 60 points. But really does anyone care?

(Incorporated with the ‘Australian Dream Team association of Australia’) D.D.D.D.D and D
Patron for life:
Gary Dowling
FROM THE PATRON: “Leave me alone…………”
DIV 1 Finals Week One
Patches O’Houlihan Trophy
All of a sudden the sun is out and there is a spring in everyone’s step,
YES, it’s O League Finals time. All the big franchises have made the Finals and that will ensure bumper crowds for all matches. When we talk about O League franchises there are none bigger than the Pollock’s with 3 sides playing off for the Patches O’Houlihan trophy. Former Champions No Passengers, Bramz (One perfect Season) and Gold have all made the top 4, Wow Weeee that is mouth watering. The elephant in the room is what everyone does with the Dangerfield suspension except Bramz (One perfect Season) who doesn’t have him….it’s a bit like a Bourne movie without Jason Bourne, hmm I think they tried that and 3 people went…..
For all the finalist it’s important to remember these inspirational words from Patches himself ‘if you’re going to become a true O League champion you have to remember the 5 D’s Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and Dodge’…..
Qualifying Final One-The Gold v Jargan.

You couldn’t get 2 teams with more contrasting styles. The Gold is meticulous and calculating a bit like a Bond movie villain it takes him 3 hours to park the car just so he is in the exact middle of the parking bay. While veteran HOF coach Jargan lives minute to minute and coaches that way, how else can you explain a midfield with 2 players who have the same last name. Many thought the game had passed him by but the cunning veteran has reinvented himself, although his decision to invest in QLD theme park shares hasn’t yet paid dividends. The Gold has been coaching for the last 3 months with only 1 arm after snapping his arm in half playing in the VBM Soccer World Cup. Jargan intends to pursue the Gold like Dr Richard Kimble chased the one armed man but it won’t be enough, the Gold by 50.
Qualifying Final Two-No Passengers v Bramz United (one perfect season).

This is an intriguing battle! both of these coaches have made their mark on the O League. Both premiership coaches, both Stosur Medalist, so fair to say they both have had their battle with the mental demons that come with the furnace that is Oberon League football. Steve is also a member of the HOF and 3 time most boring coach winner so he knows how to collect a trophy or two. But O League football can also be an unforgiving mistress, this time last year No Passengers were first in the National Dream Team competition and maybe looking at winning a new car, 6 weeks latter Steve was out of the finals in straight sets and had the Sour on his mantle piece. It’s worth mentioning Bramz broke the Stosur earlier this year practicing his forehand. Enough said! Bramz (One perfect Season) on the other hand has found it tough in recent seasons generally playing well in the home and away only to fall apart in August, I think Ash summed it up best when giving an inspirational address to his troops at training when he said ‘Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? NO, but I do it anyway because its sterile and I like the taste’. Yikes!!! No Passengers by 13.
Elimination Final One-Black Hats v The Simpsons.

Family honour at stake here with brother playing brother. Black Hats (thank you for your service) has been the form side late in the year winning 7 of their last 8 and taking down No Passengers only a couple of weeks ago, which is good form in anyone’s book. On the flip side the Simpsons have gone 3 from 6 over the concluding
stages of the season, it may be a case of end of season fatigue taking its toll. Based on form it’s the Black Hats by 40.
Elimination Final Two-Oneteamwonders v Puffy Shirt.

This is like trying to pick a winner down the straight at Flemington, it looks easy but it’s a conundrum wrapped in a rubix cube it’s almost impossible. 6 weeks ago Puffy was on top of the ladder and all 3 Lewis brothers were in the 8. Hmmm since then it has been very hard going for all 3, we now have only Puffy left and even he needed life support via a trip to hospital to make it. OTW are also hard to understand he currently has 1.5M on the bench just in case someone drops out….Call me a romantic but Gary Sweet has been booked for the mini series Puffy by 2 with a kick after the siren on Sunday.
All the best to all coaches, may the best team win. JARGAN
​Division two

Well what can I say, the finals for possibly the most meaningless trophy in
Professional sport is about to get underway.
In previous years two teams have been able to weasel their way out of this series by tanking during the last six weeks, thus ensuring 17th and 18th position. But not this year baby….That’s right like winning a raffle for the last third class steerage hammocks on the Titanic, these coaches are going down with the ship.
Who wants it least, lets find out.
1st Semi Final Oval Lords (9) Vs Angry Penguin (12)
Former Premier League champs Oval Lords V Former Paddle winner Angry Penguin., the two form teams of the second division, dare I say the two ‘sexiest’ teams in the competition? probably the only chance of seeing reasonable DT coaching in this division final series.
Oddly, the Penguin wants to be remembered for winning this whilst Oval Lords can probably go on holidays now and still win with the team they put on the park last week. OL have never really bounced back from winning the whole enchilada three years ago and may well be the big fish in the small pond in this series, the Penguin is a bit like Dastardly Dudley in that he will pull every trick in the book to win this week (Look Out! He’s Behind You!!). OL I hope you have protected your Password. Oval Lords by 250 points, if it is all above board
2nd Semi Final K.I.T.G II (10) Vs B’s Boys (11)
K.I.T.G II, veteran coach and bunny of all the top eight teams is finding a bit of form at the moment and really wants to smack AP in the final against B’s Boys who are having their best season in a long time. As much as KITG wants to keep gender out of this clash he does his cause no service by asking Bianca to ‘bring a plate’. Computer thinks this will be close but we are of the opinion that B’s Boys late surge will continue and overcome the very Disappointing KITG to the tune of 30 points in the close one of the day, A bit like the ‘Philadelphia experiment really’, KITG is there, then he’s not, then he is again.
1st Elimination Final
The Close Talker (13) Vs Boys Keep Swinging (16)
A bit of Hilary Clinton about the Close Talker this year, he thought it was his to walk into but took his eye of the ball, short odds for top eight early but was ‘bobbing up and down like a cork in the ocean’ towards the end.
Boys Keep Swinging however are a foundation club with a rich history of success in this competition, Let’s just say that the entire football department are under review after this series and it might just get nasty down at the Doust household during the off season.
The computer says there is only 40 points between these two teams going into the game and it’s hard to argue with that. We think that experience counts for something, but really who cares. Loser is rubbish, that’s right like Australian sketch comedy, just no good
2nd Elimination Final

Amalfi Warrior (14) Vs Still Better than Wayne (15)
Oh Dear , so it’s come to this, 3 time Mussolini medallist has already secured this award for the fourth time, it helps when you are the only Italian in the competition , and freshman coach SBTW is like a ‘ deer in the headlights’ You can’t beat experience Clancy, or can you? The computer is picking a big win for the AW but then again it only sees zeros and ones when it comes right down to it nobody knows what that really means. Franco è finito Di 40 punti

Round 12 Results, A New Dawn………….
From the Backline:
Well at 62 you think you have it all figured out and then this happens, the Angry Penguin 14th defeats No Passengers 1st.
It’s like a woman jockey winning the Melbourne Cup, so much had to go right for her. I, like many many more, was watching via social media on the weekend as the Penguin inched forward into the lead with about 5 minutes to go, and in fact Ben Button called it with about 20 minutes to go in the coaches box.
In my time there has been only four occasions where you could say the majority of people have known where they were at a given time. The Kennedy Assassination, Neil Armstrong Walking on the Moon, Princess Dianna washing a dish and now Angry Penguin defeating Hall of Fame coach No Passengers. It really is like going from a Neanderthal stencilling his hand print on a cave wall to Bill Gates writing Windows for work groups in just seven days. Extraordinary.
To add a certain juxtaposition vis a vis this round of matches, Hall of Fame coach JARGAN knocked over fan favourite BRAMZ United by a comfortable margin in what will prove to be a huge confidence lift to the veteran going into the finals. And that, as they say, is the difference between a HoF coach and a HoF nominee.
K.I.T.G II lost to the Gold in a one sided match. Much to the surprise of many, but still the Gold failed to impress and KITG went in a player down in what was a mistake expected of a first year coach. Gold is now on the third line of betting for the title
Black Hats Beat Puffy Shirt by a Hunge or there abouts which leads me to think that we over estimated ‘the Shirt’ and under estimated Black Hats. Still two games separate these two but on form you would have to say PS will struggle to hold on now.
The Simpsons beat Close Talker. I am told Close Talker is streeting the field in Super coach which is an indication to us of the GAP between that competition and this. The O league will test even the best DT coach, let alone those from a lower competition.
Amalfi Warrior inexplicably beat B’s Boys. How can you predict what B’s Boys will do one week from the next, She beats the Gold and then loses to Amalfi Warrior? That’s like an AFL side losing to the Wodonga Raiders. Or is the Amalfi side making it’s run? (bit of humour there)
 SBtW Broke the 2000 barrier again to defeat Boys Keep Swinging, We are of the opinion that SBtW are a smokey for the Junk Finals.
Oval Lords 9th defeated One Team Wonders 8th who are now only in front by ½ a game thanks to their draw two weeks ago. Oval Lords are in ‘the Zone’ at the moment and may very well win all their remaining games. John needs to win every game as well to stay in the eight.
Highest Score for the week Jargan 2285
Lowest Score Close Talker 1743
This Weeks Matches

 “Traditional Rival Round”!
On Paper perhaps 7 Potential Matches of the round in what might be the best O League DT round of all time
To Kick it off we have

SBtW V Oval Lords 1956 V 2003 from last week, two winners go head to head. This will be closer than you think. SBtW is a dark horse, one week he can score 2000 plus and the next he can bottom out, whilst former champs the Oval Lords are starting their push to play proper finals DT football. You know every week is like an elimination final for the former champs and our big worry is that truism that ‘Every win brings you closer to that next loss’ Now that was either a truism or an old wives tale I can never remember which, but either way we think Clancy is due That’s right whatever you thought we were going to say we will go the other way. Clancy by 12 points in a boil over.
B’s Boys V OTW, Another great game here, B’s Boys defeat the Gold and then lose to Amalfi Warriors and One Team Wonders go down to Oval Lords last week, Not great on paper but then again we aren’t playing on paper.  One Team Wonders will win, simply because they must. OTW by 40 points, without any confidence at all.
Close Talker V BKS in the battle for draft picks, very similar to the Kreuser Cup of 2010, who wants it the least? Close Talker started the season well but became complacent when he was playing and beating the lower teams, and BKS never got out of first gear. CT by 100 points.
AP V Simpsons Angry Penguin up against Black Hats, there was a time when AP would bully Black Hats just because he could, now I am not so sure. OK The Penguin took NP to the cleaners last week but there is forever going to be an asterix against that game in the record books. The amount of money bet on the Penguin in the Asian betting exchanges will always be a factor when reviewing this result. Now up against the Simpsons it’s 14th against 6th. We are going with the Simpsons here as lightning never strikes in the same place twice. Simpsons by 55
BRAMZ V GOLD Two of the power houses from recent seasons here, both coming off poor performances last week. JARGAN beat Bramz so bad he may never recover, and Gold beat KITG!! albeit with a pretty low score. Bramz, never short of confidence, some would say arrogance, is like Manny Pacqiuo in a way, beaten fair and square but refusing to accept the result, whilst Gold is seeing the defence of his title, and possible inclusion in the Hall of Fame gradually slip from his grasp.

BH V No Passengers “Well this will have them talking in China I rekon, don’t you think so Dennis…..?” Who amongst us likes to take on a champion after a loss? It’s like a batsman facing up to Michel Holding after having edged the last delivery through slips for four. But, if anyone can do it it’s Black Hats, Like a sharking smelling blood in the water coaches are circling No Passengers, cueing up for their chance to be next. An intriguing week just got more intriguing. We are going for the upset, Black Hats has winning form and we like winners BH by 44pts
PS V JARGAN The Shirt, no longer puffy it seems, is up against veteran and giant killer JARGAN, what can we say about this game, form aside  its 4th V 6th  and if the Shirt is to get that coveted double chance he needs to pull his finger out right about now. But for JARGAN this is a new paradigm, now his every move is being watched, like a fish in a fish bowl he can’t even find a place to shit where he is not being watched. We think the Pressure might get to the Hall of Fame coach and are going for the Shirt by 60 pts.
KITG V AW Hmm underwhelming match and probably the least likely of all to via for match of the round status. What has happened here, lucky we don’t have relegation in this competition or these coaches would be under pressure. Amalfi Warrior hasn’t won for what seems like an eternity and K.I.T.G 11 is struggling just outside the eight in the position occupied in previous seasons by that flat track bully and close personal friend Angry Penguin. We can’t see this going any way other than to the Mussolini medallist AW by 120 points.
If you have observations to make on this review simply go to and leave your comments

LIVE Ladder as at 22 Jun 2017

1 No passengers 
2 Bramzunited 
3 Puffy Shirt
4 The Gold 
5 oneteamwonders 
6 Jargan 
7 The Simpsons’ 
8 Oval Lords 
9 The Close Talker 
10 Black Hats 
11 B’s Boys 2017 
12 Boys Keep Swinging 
13 Kick It To GOODES II 
14 Amalfi Warriors 
15 The Angry Penguin 
16 Still better than Wayne

Wow, the big loser is KITGII in this reshuffle, but is it accurate? I don’t know I just publish these things…

​Good Luck to everyone this weekend, Good Luck to Angry Penguin against the rampaging Puffy Shirt. You’ll need it

“Chocks Away”…. If you haven’t got Patrick Dangerfield in the midfield by now you probably never will. Here we go in the sprint to the finals.

A good time to look at who has performed to their potential and who has disappointed in 2017.

From the Backline….

Angry Penguin…..D minus,   This was supposed to be his year, Minor League Hero to Zero in less than 12 months? 
One wonders whether he is still mentally scared from the 2015 ‘Montreal Screw Job’ with K.I.T.G II. We tend to believe that the era of the bully is over, and long may it be so. Chance of Major Finals – Zero, Chance of Minor Finals – Zero, that’s right, just like an Eastern European country voting for England in the Eurovision.

Puffy Shirt……A plus,  Exceeding all expectations this year, From Runner up in Rookie Coach of the year in 2016 to League Leader in 2017, No second year blues for this coach, on the negative side still to come up against  any of the league Big Hitters which will be his litmus test. Chance of Major Finals – Certain, Double Chance -Likely. 

Amalfi Warriors…..C Minus,  Having a shocker, we are used to an Amalfi Warrior coached team making a final series of some sort but this year has been most disappointing, Just like getting a cardigan for Christmas. Franco really needed to recruit over the bye weeks, let’s hope he did. Chance of making Major Finals – Zero, Chance of making Minor Finals – Possible.

No Passengers Solid C, …. A good season had this been anyone else, do we expect too much from this coach? perhaps, but from the lofty heights of last year where his name was whispered by blind kids in the slums of Mumbai, to being behind a second year coach in Puffy Shirt is a big fall for the “Hall of Famer”. Let’s hope he returns from his break refreshed and ready for a crack at the League Leader.  Chance of making the Minor Finals – Certain,  Double Chance – Probable.

JARGAN ….B Plus, A breakout year for the veteran, sitting just behind Hall of FameTM multiple Nominee Bramz United on the ladder means that he is now become the Hunted instead of a Hunter, not sure if I explained myself well there. Long thought to be a premiership coach in waiting this could be the year, just needs some luck. Chance of Major Finals – Likely, Double Chance – Possible.

Still Better than Wayne…..B,  Leader in the first year coaching award at the half way mark and a notable big improver in the last quarter of the last half of the first half of the year. Clancy has I hope learned a lot from the more senior coaches this year especially Angry Penguin, I mean the Angry Penguin of two years ago and not this Angry Penguin, he’s rubbish. Chance of Major Finals –  Zero, Chance of Minor Finals – Mathematically possible.

BRAMZ United….B minus, Once again a good start to 2017 from this coach, in steady decline since ‘the Perfect Season’ of four years ago he is still however around the mark.
BUnT has never really bottomed out in this competition and finds himself ready to make a play for the title. The only issue I can foresee for this coach is of his own making, a certain arrogance if you will, or as the French say “comportement hautain”.
Chance of making the Major finals – Probable, Double Chance- Possible

K.I.T.G II……..D,  More like a Mitsubishi Trident, sort of half a coach. Don’t know where he is going at the minute, just hanging on to eighth spot after a few lucky wins.
Chance of Major finals – Possible, Double Chance – Zero, Minor Finals – Certain.

The Gold…..C, Almost a C Minus but I am an easy marker, this coach has started as an underdog in every game this year according to the O League football record and has been friendless in the betting ring. The fact that he has won so many games is a credit to him, now in his second year and after blitzing the competition in 2016 he finds himself in the top four just ahead of nemesis BuNT. A bit like the Western Bulldogs he seems to have a premiership hangover. Chance of Qualifying for the Major Finals – Probable, Double Chance – Possible, Minor Finals – Certain.

The Simpsons….B Plus, Everyone’s favourite second team, a bit like St. Kilda or Richmond, not really going to stop you from playing finals but promises everything in February and showed his Dad a clean pair of heels early, but has come back a bit lately. The Simpsons are always in everyone’s top eight at the start of each year and there is no reason to think they can’t finish anywhere from 12th to 6th . Chance to play in the Major Finals – Possible, Minor Finals – Certain, Double Chance – Zero

Boys Keep Swinging…. D, One win out of nine is not all that great for this foundation club but he is still keeping AP on the bottom, and there is a lot to like about that.
Coaching a bit like ROTE at the moment he needs to have got up and about over the break. He has been in this position before and we believe he is a chance to play minor finals, all things considered.  Major Finals – Zero, Minor Finals – Possible, Minor Final Double Chance – Zero

Close Talker …B,  5 and 4 at the halfway mark for this second year coach is 34 Stableford points for him , Won’t win a ball but won’t go out either, Solid performance, a native of Wangaratta. Might very well shape the eight.
Chance of making the Eight – Possible, Double Chance- Zero, Minor Finals – Certain.

Black Hats…..C, Three wins and 5 losses Rubbish really but I gave him a C because he hasn’t given me any grief, a straight shooter. Dooking it out with his family members last year but slipping just a bit this year. Still a force in the Minor Division. Still a chance also to contest the Dr McClelland trophy for the best family in the competition this year. Chance of Major Finals – Needs things to go his way, Minor Finals – Certain, Minor Finals Double Chance – Possible

Oval Lords…..D, 3 AND 6???? Very disappointing recent champions are paying the price for thinking success ‘Just Happens’. “You only have to pick 22 players right” P. Townsend circa 2015. I can’t see them playing Major Finals this year although I bought AND wore a beige Safari suit in the ‘70s’, so what do I know about anythink.
Chance of playing Minor Finals – Certain, Major Finals – possible, Minor Finals Double Chance – likely.

B’s Boys……D, not far in front of Clancy, AND West Coast are having a good year, and anomaly? perhaps. Bianca deserves to play finals football, no, she NEEDS to play finals footy and her battle with OL, SBtW, AW and BKS will keep plenty of interest in the competition that is if not for the fact that everyone will be in some sort of Final series this year. Sorry for that spoiler there.
Chance of a Double Chance – Zero, Minor Finals – probable.

One Team Wonders…..B, waiting for KITG II to lose a game so as to take his spot in the eight, with the best percentage outside the top eight he is a finalist in waiting. perhaps, like the swans of 2017 the best team EVER not to be in the eight. It has been said of John that if only he had been at Victoria Barracks then he probably would be in the HoF by now. Chance of playing Major Finals – Probable, Double Chance – Zero, Minor Finals – Certain.

Round nine.
A Tie! Yes that’s right my thoughts go back to that famous Tied Test of 1960, a day that will live in infamy, now has a rival for the most exciting finish in professional sport. Black Hats Vs One Team Wonders 2052 each of two. Both Teams were a player down with OTW opting for Mitch Duncan (338) as Captain and Black Hats going with Zac Merritt (252).  League Points are shared for this one at two points each of two, in an Oberon League tm first. Also in round nine …….
K.I.T.G II playing two short went down to the resurgent (We predicted this) B’s Boys in what turned out to be no surprise at all. That’s right as sure as BUNT tm getting pissed at a JLU function one would say.
Puffy Shirt with Tom Mitchell as Captain accounted for Close Talker in Shootout II
Still Better than Wayne is starting to fulfil his promise in this competition and took the Angry Penguin apart in what sadly just highlighted the psychological damage that was done to the penguin in that match fixing scandal of two years ago, he has simply never recovered
BUNT tm has taken care of the Oval Lords in what I consider to be the upset of the round and is once again ‘thrusting his name in front of the selectors’.
OTW and BH played in the competitions first tie since accurate records have been kept.
JARGAN is an enigma, loses the ones he should win and wins the ones he should lose and once again threw the cat among the pigeons by keeping Boys keep swinging to 1761 points.
No Passengers with a very pedestrian 2010 points came from behind to beat the Italian Super coach by 100 points in what looked like, at one stage, a famous victory for the Amalfi Warrior.
The Simpsons scored a respectable 2026 but still went down to HoF bound The Gold who managed a season high 2246.
1.         No Passengers HoF
2.         BRAMZ UTD
3.         Puffy Shirt
4.         The Gold
5.         The Simpsons
6.         One Team Wonders
7.         Close Talker
8.         JARGAN HoF
9.         Oval Lords
10.        Black Hats (Thank you for your service)
11.        KITG II
12.        B’s Boys
13.        Boys Keep Swinging
14.        The Amalfi Warrior
15.        Still better than Wayne.
16.        Angry Penguin

Round 10 , Head Lice Round

Puffy Shirt Vs. K.I.T.G II HOF nominee
Possibly the closest these two have been at this stage of the year. Derby II promises so much these two know each other back to front. I even know what Phil did in the Thailand and you can bet I will be using that information in the coach’s box during the game. As heath Shaw said, “Whatever it takes”
KITG by 20 points
The Close Talker Vs. Angry Penguin
Y’know this will be like watching the Penguin of 2013 take on the Penguin from 2017 and let me tell you Penggy you don’t get better as you get older. Y’know to be fair Penguin shared his coming out of the closet story just last week and that should free up his thoughts to once again dominate the lower half of the lower half of the competition. Good on you for once again leading Sir, but Close talker is better, faster, newer and he is not in that bottom feeder (see what I did there J) area that the Penguin loves to bully.
Close Talker by 200
Struggling over this one, B’s Boys beat the Mighty KITG last week and  BU accounted for previous champs Oval Lords. I think BU’s was a better win but the universe has changed so much in the last 6 months we have female field umpires, Sydney and Hawthorn are both outside the eight and Jack Watts is holding chest marks. The world has gone mad, in the words of US President Donald Trump  “It’s very, very bad” and believe me B’s Boys are tough Hombres.
B’s Boys by 49 points
Well, can Still better than Wayne go Back to Back? Is professional wrestling real? We don’t know about either, but we know that Black Hats is charting unknown territory, hunted rather than hunting, hot rather than luke warm, that’s enough for us here at HQ, not that we are having much luck this year, I can remember my maths teacher called me decidedly average when I was at school, thought that was mean.
Black Hats by 120 points
JARGAN Vs. O Lords
Hall of Fame Vs Premiership winner I just don’t know, what is more prestigious It’s like trying choose the best movies out of Snow White and the Three Stooges, The Three Stooges Meet Hercules The Three Stooges Go Around the World in a Daze or The Three Stooges in Orbit I personally favour the Three stooges in Orbit myself but that’s neither her nor the moment.
O Lords by 12 points
One Team Wonders V No Passengers
First V sixth probably the most skilful game of the year so far pity about the coaches, I am sure NP will strangle the fun out of this game. OTW had a wonderful draw last week, like Kim Hughes batting for six hours against the might of the West Indies for a paltry 48 runs. It must mean something right? Nah not this time,
No Passengers to do what it takes by 8 points
BKS Vs Gold
Boys Keep Swinging Vs. The Gold might have been Match of the round status had it been held 5 weeks ago, hell even two weeks ago. But it’s not. The Gold is scoring like a young Warren Beatty at the moment and One Team Wonders drew a game he really should have won last week. Winning form is good form
Gold by 80 points
AW V Simpsons
Amalfi warriors are having their worst season in fifteen years and the Simpsons are sitting just outside the top four, not a recipe for an exciting game of Oberon Dream Team Football to be honest but really who discovered America? An Italian, right? What better way to celebrate its 200th birthday than to get it on…. Either that or I have been watching too many Rocky movies

Round eight is over again for the year and what a week it was:
The Gold bandwagon has finally been stopped in its tracks by Hall of Famer No Passengers. It’s a pity as David’s light glowed so brightly for a short period of time and then…..Poof! It’s gone.
Jargan has established himself as the ‘Master of his own Domain tm ‘by defeat Simpsons and Black Hats in consecutive weeks. Did you get enjoyment from that Wayne?
Amalfi Warrior continued his demise, almost ‘Gold like’ by losing to BlackHats, where to now for the 4 time Mussolini tm Medallist
BUNTtm with a very very pedestrian score of 1970 easily accounted for Boy’s Keep Swinging
Angry Penguin, who I think has lost his login details again went down to One Team Wonders by 400 plus points, “If you don’t mind’
Still better than Wayne Lost to Close Talker by over 500 points
Puffy Shirt bested B’s Boys in one for the ages by 13 points in the match of the round and
 K.I.T.G II beat Oval Lords like he was her Daddy.
Make of that as you will

This weeks games

Puffy Shirt V Close Talker
First ever match of the Day classification for both of theses Wangaratta coaches
When Hall of Fame coach JARGAN took this competition national in 1987 who would have ever thought that two teams outside Victoria Barracks would be playing in the Friday night game? Not this correspondent by Golly tm. Puffy Shirt has exceeded all expectations this year although rumours persist that his team was a ‘Quick Pick’. CT on the other hand is Old School, that’s right he has ruckmen as opposed to talls, rovers as oppose tho smalls and rests his ruckmen in the forward pocket. We think that this is a game too close to call so we are leaving it to sports bet have each team at $1.50 each of two. A draw for us. 

Simpsons V The Gold
You Know the Great Lionel Rose had a hit song in 1972 called “Pick me up on your way down”, This could be The Golds team song for 2017. Freezing like a Rabbit caught in the headlights against HoF coach NP last week and coming up against giant killer The Simpsons this week it’s like the hits just keep on coming. This is 4th V 9th, even closer on the ‘live ladder’ and we don’t know how last weeks loss will affect the reigning champ. But wait on Simpsons lost to Jargan andGold I think beat Jargan but Jargan lost to NP and so did Gold but Ash beat Black Hat and the NBN is slower than ADSL so now I don’t know. Simpsons by 21 points in a thriller.

Amalfi Warrior V No Passengers
14 V 15th
You know I was reading the ten commandments on a sign waiting for 6:15 train at Seaford station this morning, ok the 7:30 but that doesn’t matter right now, any way going through the list don’t kill I get that, adultery Ok makes sense but don’t eat pork? Where did that come from ? I can imagine a pig sneaking in one night and just chiselling that at the bottom of the list. So it’s 1st V 14 I can see this getting ugly but as you know AW is a 4 time Mussolini Medalist tm and NP has a penchant for underestimating  his opponents., But even we can’t tip Franco in this NP by 400 plus.

JARGAN Vs Boys Keep Swinging
Very Big game for both these coaches in fact the computer can only separate these two by 20 points, that’s well within the margin of error. On paper you have to go for the Hall of Famer over BKS but we all know this is O League DT football.
This game could come down to omissions due to the bye or even the selection of captains. We are going with the man who has three coffees runs the stairwell twice marks time when stationary and has a  Blood Pressure of 107/71 in this one as, as we all know, staying cool under pressure is what makes Champions.JARGAN by 40 points

K.I.T.G II Vs B’s Boys
Traditional rivals these two, always jockeying for the same spot at the end of the season and no change this year. I suspect that Goodes is playing above himself this year, playing out of skin if you like, and B’s Boys is taking a bit longer than usual to get into stride.  But getting into stride she has.
We know that KITGII has high hopes this year but B’s Boys is improving each week
B’s Boys by 130pts

Still Better than Wayne V Angry Penguin
Dear O Dear The last time two teams were going this badly there was talk of having to merge to remain viable, What would you call that team you might ask, perhaps Angry Wayne? Pathetic Penguins? Maybe simply ‘Still better than Wayne?’ Anyway to say that AP has let his fans down in 2017 is an understatement. You have two changes available each week big guy, they don’t accumulate. As for Clancy, he’s having a crack and could end up anywhere from 11 to 16th should he win. And win he will this week by 60 points in a low scoring encounter.

Oval Lords Vs BUNTtm
Well this is a bookies dream, these two could play each other 20 times and I suggest it would be 11 all at the end .of the last game. Bramz has done it all in this league, the much talked about ‘perfect season’, 2300 Club, Mentor and HoF nominee on many occasions but when you look at it, at the end of the day, in the fullness of time, at the appropriate juncture geeze I forgot what I was saying, that’s right the Score card is still O Lords 1 Championship – Bunt tm 1 Championship. 1 win each of two.
So it’s the clash of the equals. We like Ash but that doesn’t mean we can pick him, people rely on these tips to provide just that little bit extra for their families. O Lords by 12 in a thriller.

One Team Wonders Vs Black Hats
Black Hats (Thankyou for your service) were the sexy team up until they lost to Franchise owner Jargan two weeks ago and One Team Wonders are probably the most successful side outside of Victoria Barracks, What does that mean? They both need to pull their fingers out this week OTW are in the eight and the Black Hats (Thankyou for your service) surprisingly 12th on the ladder, is this same team that beat KITG, hard to believe really.  We have seen Jargan do this to young coaches before, he not only beats them but also hides the remote and changes the WIFI password, its Psychological warfare and it hurts. We are going forOTW by 50 points in this.

Lewis Thomas Charles “Lou” Richards, MBE 
(15 March 1923 – 8 May 2017) 
250 GAMES 

Latest at 10 May 2017
        LIVE Ladder at 10 May 2017
1 No passengers 
2 Bramzunited 
3 puffy shirt 
4 The Gold 
5 The Simpsons’ 
6 oneteamwonders 
7 Boys Keep Swinging
8 Oval Lords 
9 Kick It To G… 
10 The Close Talker 
11 B’s Boys 2017 
12 Jargan 
13 Black Hats 
14 The Angry Penguin 
15 Amalfi Warriors 
16 Still better… 

Was this the greatest Home and Away round in O Legue history?
Nah probably not
Puffy shirt defeated Still better than Wayne,
by @500 points. if you don’t mind.
Oval Lords beat B’s Boys in the battle of the lasses
two quarters at 12 minutes each.
Close Talker beat One Team Wonders
Kick it to Goodes II surprised with a win over Boys Keep Swinging
Angry Penguin went down to the Amalfi Warrior
The Simpsons Beat BUNTtm for the very first time in the modern era
The Gold with another mediocre score beat Black Hats
No Passengers beat Jargan to continue perhaps the longest streak in the history of fantasy Sports
What could be better than that I hear you ask?

This week it’s the Lou Richards round where the losers have to cut Teddy Whittens lawn with a pair of nail clippers and the first game on the roster is……..
GOLD V No Passengers, 
Game 1, Grand Final replay Hof Vs 2016 Champion. Gold V No Passengers, 1st V 4th what a difference 6 months makes. NP is continuing where he left off on the last Saturday in August and the Gold is struggling at best, some would say that Gold is pacing himself others that the cauldren that IS the Oberon League has finally taken it’s toll on the Champ.This is a promotors dream or it would have been had not Gold’s form dropped off so suddenly. As the great Merv Williams said ‘He is just like the boy who fell out of the balloon , he’s just not in it’. NP by 200 points

Puffy Shirt Vs B’s Boys
Well the two sexy clubs in the competition at the moment, B’s Boys, a recent loser to O Lords and Puffy Shirt a last up winner
Both of these teams will have a say in who makes the top eight this year with Puffy quite possibly out performing his more accomplished sibling.
But I am dwelling in the land of fantasy here.  B’s Boys by 40 points

Still better than Wayne Vs Close Talker 10 V 16 how do we sell this one? Perhaps the loser to eat the other coaches jocks on live TV? Just to make sure they are both trying lets make it that the winner gets to choose their jocks from the laundry basket? This game should have been sent to Shanghi. Close Talker by 100 points.
Boys Keep Swinging V BUNTTM Two losers from last week get another crack, It was nice to see BUNT congratulate the Simpsons in the Coaches Box last week after one of the upsets of the season, it was really sincere Ash, sort of like Eddie congratulating Carlton after the later spoiled the magpies 125 anniversery. BKS went down to a red hot KITGII in the other mathchup last week, so what does this mean. We are picking BUNTtm this week to lose once again. See what I did there? BKS by 125.

Oval lords Vs KITGII geeze this is a tough one OL off the ladies tees must start favourite in this one, they have been slowly building momentum and now find themselves in the eight.KITG is going to be one down again this week and if he is not careful he may drop right out of contention. Just as Bill Lawrie was quoted as saying in the west Indies as the crowd were invading the pitch, burnt down the change sheds and cornered the players. “Geeze we need a wicket Ian”. O Lords by 25 points.

Angry Penguin Vs One Team Wonders Well these two teams are a contradiction in terms, AP no longer dominating the Dojo and OTW firmly ensconsed in the 8. What does that mean, well nothing apparently this game is as important as an election in North Korea, that’s right it just doesn’t matter. We like to pick against AP where possible and today is no exception. OTW by 12 points

Amalfi Warriors Vs Black Hats There is a reason this game is being reviewed so far down the list y’know, 13 V 15 says it all. You are born with 300 bones, by the time you are an adult you will have 206. Think about that…. Amalfi Warriors by 6 points

The Simpsons Vs Jargan Master and apprentice, Derby XiiV What a game to finish on 5 Vs 12 Jargan for probably the first time is an outsider against Simpsons, It’s a bizaro world. Has the worm turned, Jargan has been there done that in this competition, Finals, HoF, awards and honours but the big one still eludes him. Has the time gone by him, is this a officially a rebuilding phase now. JARGAN by 34


Movement Rating                  Team
 –                    1                          No passengers 
 –                    2                          Bramzunited 
+1                  3                          Puffy shirt 
-1                   4                          The Gold 
+3                  5                          Oneteamwonders 
+1                  6                          B’s Boys 2017 
-2                   7                          The Simpsons’ 
+7                  8                          Boys Keep Swinging
+3                  9                           Jargan 
-1                 10                          Oval Lords 
-1                 11                          Kick It To Goodes 
-1                 12                          The Angry Penguin 
-1                 13                          Black Hats 
-1                 14                          The Close Talker 
+1                15                          Amalfi Warriors 
-2                 16                          Still better… 
What a great week of Dream Team Football this week
A number of firsts. Clancy’s first win Well done, starting to knock them down one at a time.
Puffy Shirttm edges out the Goldtm into 4th place and into ‘The Zone’
Oval Lordstm are starting from way back but are hitting their straps, as we predicted earlier that they would
The Amalfi Warriorstm lose an unlosable game. Maybe a new award ‘The Hillary Clinton’ ?
The Goldtm outscores everyone else in the League, thanks to encouragement from our own Gentle Bentm
No Passengerstm continues the leagues longest winning streak against poor KITGIItm
JARGANtm defeats a brave Angry Penguintm in the match of the round and BUNTtm just gets over Black Hatstm by the narrowest of margins.

Review for Round 6 by a special guest reviewer.
Match of the Round
The Gold vs The Angry Penguin This is the one that we were waiting for.
For the Angry Penguin it is Sydney or the Bush!!! and for the Gold? Well
he is so inconsistant at the moment we don’t know which Gold will be turning up.
We are going for the Angry Penguin in this for only one reason, That’s right we love to be let down.
Sort of like going to hospital and no one visiting , or having a milestone birthday and then having
to invite the homeless in to eat the meal. We get off on it. AP by 25 points

Puffy shirt vs Oval Lords 3rd V 10th on the Live LadderTM. There will only be points in this game maybe 5 each of two.
Puffy shirt is the new Sexy and Oval Lords is a former champion. Both are on the rise and can expect to finish in the top 6
after the home and away season. Puffy Shirt however has had an interrupted pre-season well it’s a mystery to me how he is in the 8. 
Oval Lords by 

Oneteamwonders vs Still better than 

Still better than Wayne
PROJ 1878
PROJ 1810
Boys Keep Swinging
B’s Boys 2017
PROJ 1884
PROJ 1865
Amalfi Warriors
The Close Talker
PROJ 1946
PROJ 1864
The Simpsons’
Kick It To Goodes II
PROJ 1969
PROJ 1782
The Gold
The Angry Penguin
PROJ 2010
PROJ 1755
No passengers
PROJ 2014
PROJ 2020
Black Hats
PROJ 1864
PROJ 1880

​Round 4
Wowee great reaction to the Live LadderTM this week as it appears the Gold may be suffering from second season blues, we at HQ never voted for him y’know.
Just recapping last weeks results, it appears that the Close One was between second year coach Close Talker defeating Hall of FameTM coach JARGAN by just 13 points, JARGAN says bringing in Coach Whispeter Ash Kopania was the reason he got as close as he did. Well done Ash.
BUNT and Angry Penguin staged a ball tearer and the Oval Lords responded to the savage criticism levelled at them from some quarters of the media.last week, I am just glad we here at HQ weren’t among them.
Apart from the usual suspects it is good to see a new Family dominating the top eight yes you know who you are, and stalward One Team Wonders cementing their place in the top tier of the competition once again trying to disprove the age old addage ” you can’t win it from outside Victoria Barracks”
This weeks games
Match of the Round
JARGAN Vs The Angry Penguin.
Third week in a row for the Penguin he keeps coming up against legendary coaches in the early part of the season. Depending on this result will decide who goes top out of these two, currently 10th 
and 7th respectively on the live ladderTM. Hall of FameTM coach Jargan has bought in the consultants and one wonders whether they have been worth the big bucks, time will tell. This game is tight, we are going for JARGAN by 12 pts more if he doesn’t listen to Ash.
Black Hats Vs BUNT
Black hats came within a whisker of beating KITGII last week which some say means nothing but to us at HQ it means that he probably hasn’t lost interest yet, which is a good thing. BUNT is having a great season so far and is undefeated in the competition, albeit a tad lucky against Angry Penguin last week which got us thinking is AP the real deal or is BUNT really interested in the Home and Away rounds? We think the later and choose Black Hats by 40 points
The Gold Vs Close Talker
50 points separated these two last week, one wonders is the Gold making this game too complicated? BE’s, Cash Cows, Bye Rounds and dual players it all means nothing if they can’t get the ball Dave, Close Talker is in the eight and we think he is there to stay.The Wangaratta Kid by 24 pts
KITGII Vs No Passengers
My girlfriend said she was leaving me because of my obsession with the Monkees, I thought she was joking at first, ‘And then I saw her face”.No Passengers by 200 pts
Puffy Shirt Vs One Team Wonders.
Another great fixture for the weekend,19 points separated these two after 100 minutes of DT football last week and looking at the teams, which I think only the Gold does, they must have similar players. This could be the ‘shirts’ breakthrough season as he seems to be getting better with age, but OTW is a litmus test for him, Foundation coach who has been through the mill. 2316 each of two
Boys keep swinging Vs Oval Lords 6th Vs 12th
More people have jumped off Oval Lords this year than got off the Titanic before it sank. I’m glad we weren’t amongst them because they are winners again, but so are Boys Keep Swinging. Mano on Mano this could very well be closer than a draw.
Would like to pick the Oval Lords, particulary in light of the thraeating mail I have received this week, but like Roberta Williams I am sticking to my guns. BKS by 22 pts
Amalfi Warrior Vs Still Better than Wayne.
This one is also an Interesting game Still Better than 
Wayne is improving each week and 5 time Mussolini medallist and Italian coach of the Century is struggling with his form at the moment. Interesting to note Still Better than Wayne was recruited from 
Switzerland does that mean he is Dutch? and what does that make Holland?
Amalfi Warrior by 60 points against Switzerland’s #1 rated Dream Team player.
Simpsons Vs B’s Boys.
Another close one, Simpsons were the ‘IT ‘ team last year, struggling to be the ‘Meh’ team this year, I don’t know what has happened. B’s Boys however look to be finally hitting their straps one more win for her 
and she will be in the top four… And from there, anything is possible. 
Well she won’t beat Steve, lets not get carried away here.
B’s Boys by 45 pts
Comments welcomed. 

Round 3
Wowee if you didn’t like round two O League DT football you don’t like ice-cream.
The Gold drops out of the live ladder top four and only scrapes in against OneTeam Wonders. K.I.T.G II leads the Montagna Award voting after treating Angry Penguins with contempt before being put to the sword by the big fella.
Bunt brings back the glory years with his 2161 pts in round two” if you don’t mind”
Puffy Shirt breaks 2000 and B’s Boys enter ‘The Zone’
Has there been a better Round 2?
This weeks games
Puffy Shirt V Boys Keep Swinging
Winning form is good form and both these teams are burning up the track at the moment. Puffy Shirt rang me the other day. BKS fell short against one of the Pollock Franchises last week which is easy to do. We are going for a Draw here, like the difference between Chris and Liam Hemsworth, we just don’t know.
Amalfi Warrior V One Team Wonders
Just a nadful of points separated these two on last weeks form, did I say nadful? either way it was close. Six time Mussolini Medalist AW is obviously hurting after failing against Puffy Shirt last week and OTW almost rolled the Gold, what a win that would have been, Bruce may have uttered the phrase ‘One for the Ages’ given the chance, but it wasn’t to be. We are going for OTW by 6 points
Simpsons V Oval Lords
“I have been deaf for 3 years, Never thought I’d hear myself say that..” Also never thought I would see Oval Lords so unprepared for a DT season. Nothing to smile about here really, Has the Dual Coach era passed? Just like a fag at ¼ time? Simpsons will win this while Oval Lords run around like a headless chook. 45pts K.I.T.G II Vs Black Hats
Black Hats scored 1772 last week beaten in score by Still Better than Wayne, that can only mean on thing K.I.T.G II has a chance this week provided he doesn’t decide not to show up again, Goodsey by 80 points.
GOLD Vs Still  Better than Wayne
This is like seeing the writing on the wall, The Gold is so far off the boil at the moment that he is vulnerable to any team in the competition. SBtW has been right behind his hero for two weeks now and in the words of Bruce McAvaney ” something has to rub off doesn’t it Dennis..” and it will SBtW by 4 points
No Passengers V B’s Boys.
Bianca is coaching out of her skin at the moment Ranked third on the live ladder for her she is quickly transitioning from Hunter to Hunted. Would love to select her this week but as usual I expect NP to slowly wear her down and win by the customary 3 points or so. Give us something Steve.
JARGAN V Close Talker
Oh Dear HoF’r Jargan is taking on the Wangaratta Kid Close Talker. The only man to prove himself better than The Gold in this competition up against 2nd year team Close Talker.The Talker is improving each week but it may be too early in the year to tip him against JARGAN Jargs by 22
Bunt Vs Angry Penguins.
Game of the round both these two are in career best form. even though AP was the beneficiary of some arrogant decisions last week he did score a respectable 2112 against Bunt’s 2161, The problem here is that if AP can find his password he could log on and really stuff his team up. But, seeing the state of his desk however I don’t think that will happen. But here’s the thing I may never be in the position to pick AP against Bunt again so this is it Angry Penguins by 60 pts 

ROUND 2 Traditional Values
Durry at 1/4 time  
No drinking on Saturday mornings
Drop Kicks, Flick Passes, Shirtfronts
Protect yourselves at all times.
Porn and Prawn pleasant sunday mornings
Pies at half time 
Don’t Train – Start on the Bench 
     Traditional Values Matchups

Angry Penguin Vs Kick it to GoodesII
Match of the round, these two have a history. The Penguin has been locked out of his team already this year, Should have written the password down Deano. The Penguin needs this win more than KITGII but it’s no good having 8 players on the bench
KITGII by 67 pts
BRAMZ United Vs Close Talker
Geeze this could be carnage, BUnt is in career best form and Close Talker had a shocker last week, a long season for boy from Wangarratta
BUnt by 40 pts
The Gold Vs One Team Wonders
The Gold seems off the boil early in 2017, I personally think he is suffering from 2nd seasons blues. One wonders if he still has the hunger, or the ability? OTW  is due
One Team Wonders by 2pts
Black Hat’s Vs B’s Boys
This is the one we have been waiting for, Bianca is on top of the Live Ladder for the first ever time. Not since the Oval Lords of 2012 has women’s football been so hot. 
B’s Boys by 49 pts
Jargan Vs Still Better than Wayne
Jargan has been promising ever since ’11, and he is up against his very own fan boy extraordinaire, Still better than Wayne, Unfortunately for the  newcomer and in the words of Mr T, “I see Pain”
JARGAN by 240 pts
Puffy Shirt Vs Amalfi Warriors
I guess we all need “the other guy’s” Four time Mussolini Medalist up against the Puffy Shirt, how do you sell this one? i guess Meagan Washington for halftime entertainment should do it.
Amalfi Warrior by 1 pt
The Simpsons Vs Boy’s keep Swinging
What a match up, can’t believe the simpsons have stayed under the radar this year. Boys Keep Swing have a lot to play for this year this one will be hard to pick.
BKS by 10 pts
No Passengers Vs Oval Lords
the Best there has ever been? Vs former champions the Oval Lords this game is still not a sell out. No Passengers just cant put bums on seats. Try a bit of flare Steve. We at HQ can see the writting on the wall and are going for
Oval Lords by 15


Patches O’Houlihan Cup

Take care of your balls, and they’ll take care of you.”…Patches O’Houlihan:
The champion of the Oberon League receives the Patches O’Houlihan Cup which represents the very best of AFL Dreamteam performance and sportsmanship.

Patches O'Houlihan Cup



Named after multi HoF nominee Ashley Kopania who has been known to make errors at the most in opportune time costing him the game on many occasions…


Stosur Cup

Named after Samantha Stosur and her ability to snatch defeat from the Jaws of victory. Multiple winners include the great No Passengers

Stosur Cup

Mandela Award

Acknowledged as the competitions Moral Compass
Current holder KITGII

Mandela Award

Dummy Spit

Couldn’t be called the Ashley Kopania Dummy Spit because he already has an award. Name says it all really, if you don’t want to win it then stay out of the coaches box on a Saturday

Dummy Spit

The Paddle

Name says it all really, if The most meaningless trophy in fantasy sports, This means you are the best of the rest. Some would say they would rather finish last, Others like Angry Penguin aim for this award from the…