Annual O League Mid-Season Review

Amalfi WarriorsD
Three wins and seven losses at the half way point does not inspire confidence in the fan favourite and foundation coach Frank. He has in the past coached his best before the break and one could, I suppose, make a case for him to make the eight with an easy run home. The computer is giving him an 80% chance of winning 60% of his final 5 games following the break. Those are the sort of odds that may very well enable the five time Mussolini medalist to prove this correspondent wrong. However I have an image in my head of what Italians do to failed Leaders, Lets hope he can rally. Prediction – No Higher than 8th. Make or Break Game Round 15 V The real Kick it to Goodes
B’s BoysSolid B +
Bianca has had a great start to the year losing only to BRAMZ United and Hall of Famer The Gold whilst at the same time defeating JARGAN, a first? and also last years Grand Finalist Puffy Shirt. I must admit we never saw this coming during the pre season. Bianca, it must be said, sticks to her processes, She is like a Chinese farmer, She works all day in the field digging and plowing and when she goes home she eats her lunch, with chop sticks!. AND, she’s seen the shovel! That’s commitment right there Prediction – No Lower than fifth. Make or Break game Round 16 V The Real Kick it to Goodes.
Black HatsB-
A five game winning streak and firmly ensconced in the top 8 has Keegan eyeing off the grand prize as possibly the only Pollock with a fair dinkum shot at it this year. Started off by losing to new franchisee Done and Dustin in round two before a win over JARGAN kick started his season in round four. He hasn’t looked back since. He is racking them up like Trevor Barker at the Tunnel Night Club in the 1970’s. Still to come in round 16 is the clash of the co-tenants and then a ball burster against The real Kick it to Goodes which should determine how far he could go this year. Prediction – No Lower than sixth. Make or Break game Round 17 V No Passengers.
BRAMZ UnitedB+
Some would say this mark is a bit harsh for a coach with Hall of Fame aspirations at the halfway mark of the season. Well Ash is a special case. Architect of the ‘Perfect Season’ back in the day, albeit when the O league was a far lesser competition than it is now. I can liken it to Mathew Hayden sitting on top of the great Sir Donald Bradman in the Australian Highest Score list with 380 against part timers Zimbabwe on a flat wicket in Perth. Not really the same as JARGAN going back to back in the post Gold era is it. We would love to see him break through here with his only loss this year being to The Real Kick it to Goodes. Now you could have got 20-1 on that result in January.
Prediction – No Lower than third. Make or Break game Round 15 V The Angry Penguin
Done and DustinC-
New coach, new season, we have seen this before, Puffy Shirt, Close Talker, Usain Casbolt, all have shown promise but have dropped away in season 2, all except Phil who last year was like an artificially inseminated cow, he knew something wonderful was happening, just not quite sure how. Now without his mentor JARGAN he is back in the pack. Dallas started with wins over Black Hats, who must have been struggling to adjust to civilian life at that stage, (Thank you for your service), and a 4 point win over K.I.T.G but has since struggled. We are still under a caveat from the older Pollock to to take it easy on her in her first year, so we will be kind and highlight the fact that she is far and away not the worst Pollock family coach in this competition, errr that would be you Jarryd. Prediction – No Lower than 10th. Make or Break game Round 17 V Puffy Shirt
He’s back Baby! After a Anus Horribilus last year the Hall of Fame coach has worked his way back into contention with a 7 – 3 W/L ratio at the break. I am reminded of his words last year when he said “Ben, there are old pilots, and there are bold pilots, but there are no Old, Bold pilots.” wise words indeed. Still gives me chills to be honest. To what then do we owe this turn around? Either way it’s good for football to have him back in contention. We thought something was brewing when he beat last years grand finalist Puffy Shirt in round three and then managed to defeat popular Amalfi Warrior the week following.Yes he was coming back. Now he is in the mix with Steve, Keegan and Ben , all on 7 wins dooking it out for the double chance, a delicious prospect isn’t it Dennis? Prediction – No Lower than 5th. Make or Break games Round 16, 17, 18 V The Angry Penguin, BRAMZ and No Passengers, Wowee haven’t seen a better run home than this since Kiwi in the ‘93 Melbourne Cup
No PassengersC
A solid C for Hall of Fame coach No Passengers. Some would say a bit harsh for a coach sitting in 4th position at the break, but we like to judge on the expectations at the start of the season. Good judges had him in the top 2 in February, so this must be a disappointment for the board. I mean when you have no fans you have to WIN games of football. Historically Steve needs to be in the top two at the end of the year to allow the Gold to beat him in the big dance come that last Saturday in August, and with the Gold struggling this could have, and may yet still be his year. We at HQ still rate him as possibly the best ever pre-Gold era coach and with the possibility of Dave missing this year he has to be a favourite. Prediction – No Lower than 3rd. Make or Break game Round 18 V JARGAN
One Team WondersC+
John is a paradox wrapped inside a conundrum, After defeating No Passengers in the first game he then lost to Puffy Shirt after posting a score in the mid 1500s, What is that? It’s similar to someone like, lets say, Ian Baker Finch winning a British Open and then never wining another tournament. Logic states that that is impossible right?. Apart from losing to grand finalist Puffy Shirt, John has had a fairly solid year really and an improvement on his last two seasons. He has lost to some pretty good coaches by super narrow margins and is now just three games and percentage outside the top eight, admittedly he needs a few results to go his way, but Ringo ended up with Playboy Model Barbara Bach while Paul married Lind Eastman, so anything can happen right? Prediction – No Lower than 10th . Make or break game Round 19 V JARGAN
Puffy ShirtE
We have seen quicker dives than this. Sonny Liston Vs Muhammad Ali II in 1965 comes to mind but we are not used to seeing it in the O league. Not this century anyway. I did use another analogy once last year about going down fairly quickly but I heard from JARGANs lawyers the very next day. So where does this leave Phil? Promised so much, but delivers so little. Like a Defence contract perhaps?
The Puffy Shirt, who went within a breath of winning the whole enchalada last year and captured the hearts of kids everywhere may have to pre qualify for 2022. The only ‘E’ on this list. So I guess ‘owning’ the Gold doesn’t really mean as much as it used to. Prediction – No higher than 12th . Make or break game Round 16 V The Close Talker (Country Cup)
The Angry PenguinB++
Probably the highest score that can be given to a coach who really has shown absolutely zero understanding of the coaching process in the past. As Susie O’Neil famously said about rival Claudia Poll from Costa Rica, ‘She’s always been a bit suss. I’m surprised she got caught … but it doesn’t surprise me that she was taking some sort of steroid.” So until The Penguin can prove in front of witnesses that this is his own work he will forever have and asterisk against his name for season 2021. Still he scored 2028 in his only loss to B’s Boys which is a fargin good score to lose a match in this day and age. Prediction – 8th . Make or break game Round 18 V The Gold
The Bromley BoysD
What can we say about Michael, one win over newest coach Done and Dustin and a low in the 1300s against lock down king Puffy Shirt, is not a great start to the season by any stretch of the imagination. We think that Michael was lacking situational awareness coming into this season, he thought it would just happen. Like the guy who keeps his pale green Safari Suit on a hanger in the cupboard believing that it will come back in fashion he just didn’t read the crowd. We think that the Bromley Boys would benefit by a couple of seasons with The JARGAN Foundation Development Squad to freshen up before 2022. Prediction – No higher than 10th . Make or break game The next one
The Close TalkerD
Four and Six, sounds like pre-decimal currency money doesn’t it. Unfortunately for Ian however it is not. Having trouble beating people above him on the ladder while at the same time scoring well enough and just falling short in the big games. He reminds me of my Dads words to me after seeing my report card at the end of year 10. “Ben you let me down, you let your Mother down, but most of all……..” well you know how it goes. So I say to Ian “Ian you let Phil down….…” What can he do now in order to redeem his reputation after such a promising season in 2019? We think, maybe more spanners at training? Maybe Deans approach and pay someone else to set up your team? Or maybe, and I’m just spitballing here, write your passwords in a Vana exercise book like the rest of us so you don’t get locked out. Prediction – No lower than 11th . Make or break game Round 19 The Simpsons
The GoldD-
A final season without Dave is like that ‘Bourne Identity’ movie without Matt Damon, It was like kissing your sister, or so I’ve been told, It’s like visiting a massage parlour and only being offered a massage, It’s like losing a spot in the O League GF in 2017 in an after the siren re-fresh. These disappointment stay with you, I mean forgive and forget right? But you really never forget, or forgive. This is the first time since the pre-Gold era that Dave may not be playing in August. It’s just not the same. Has the Oberon League left the Gold behind ? Or is Dave just playing for draft picks, you know like the infamous Kreuzer Cup of 2012. I gotta tell you Dave There are no draft picks in Oberon League Dream Team Football. If the Gold can hold on to his current position he will have to be the first coach to win it from 8th. And if he does I will cut JARGANS lawn with a pair of nail cutters. Prediction – No Higher than 8th. Make or break game Round 19 The Angry Penguin
Kick it to GoodesB+
JARGAN, Tick. No Passengers, Tick. Gold, Tick. Ben is racking them up and knocking em down. We would back him to spare a 7- 10 split at the moment. But we have seen this before. Performing against the big dogs but losing to Done and Dustin, (No Offence Dallas), Whilst Benny freely admits he has only a few good years left he is having a good one. Can he go one better that 2017? Does he have the temperament for finals O league football or will fate intervene once again like Lucy and pull that damn ball away. All you young coaches, ask your Mum and Dads. We think he will screw it up as is his nature, reverting to type if you will. I’m afraid he is destined to mediocrity. Prediction – No Higher than 5th. Make or break game Round 19 No Passengers
The SimpsonsC
14th at the turn with two wins and 8 losses. A monty to captain the Dud Brothers team at this years Rubbish finals curtain raiser. Im trying to be positive here so I can positively say that were it not for that that everyone plays finals in this competition then he wouldn’t probably be playing finals at all. For a young man who sits at the same table as the CEO of the JARGAN foundation to have such a bad season surely must indicate there is a communication issue there. Anyway I guess he has a chance to dominate the minor dojo come August. On the bright side of the coin he confidently claim to be only 1 degree of separation from the O league hall of fame. Prediction – No Higher than 12th. Make or break game Round 16 Black Hats, Set the video tape
Usain CasboltB
There is something to be said for being in a position to help ‘Shape the Eight’ if you will, and young Luke is that fortunate position. He may not play division one finals this year but he is scoring well enough to give some of the aspirational coaches some sleepless nights. His round 17 matchup with The Gold provides a mouth watering prospect. One game separates these two and Usain is scoring within a small margin of error the same points as Dave. We are looking forward to this one. Good luck Luke you can still make your mark, worst case the back pocket in the team for Dud Brothers is a pretty good consolation prize. Prediction – No Higher than 8th. Make or break game Round 17 The Gold

Round 4

Well what a weekend that was. We had Angry Penguin record the highest score in the league against The Simpsons. In fact he beat the top ranked coach in the entire competition by a lazy 25 points. In the Match of the Round.

No Passengers accounted for The Gold by around 80 points which of course is to be expected in April.

KITG lost by 4 points to new comer Done and Dustin, and in a shellacking Close Talker beat The Bromley Boys by 680 points, a new league record.

Other winners were Puffy Shirt over One Team Wonders, JARGAN over crowd favourite the Amalfi Warrior, Tees and greens there. BRAMz United over B’s Boys in an upset and Black Hats over the young Usain Casbolt.

This week (Our selections in Bold)

Match of the round is:

Black Hats V (And this is the first time I have been able to say this) an in-form Angry Penguin

No Passengers (3) V Close Talker (9)

The Gold (10) V Puffy Shirt (12)

One Team Wonders (13) V Amalfi Warrior (15)

Bromley Boys (18) V Done and Dustin (7)

K.I.T.G (5) V Usain Casbolt (11)

JARGAN (4) V B’s Boys (2)

BRAMZ United (1) V The Simpsons (14)

Fact Check. BRAMZ United are now into their seconds week in the number one position.

Also at www.oberonleague.com the latest Poll is up for seven more days. What should we call the trophy to be awarded to the annual Angry Penguin V The Simpsons game.

Welcome to our new Coach Done and Dustin for season 2021. Don’t be put off by the Angry Penguin. He is all mouth…..

Well………here we go again, a new season of AFL DT Oberon League Football.Welcome to our coaches once again and welcome back The GOLD who seems to defy the odds, and father time, in setting the standard, I didn’t vote for him myself, but that’s water under the bridge now, all forgotten, live and let live, forgive and forget hey? Well pretend we have anyway.

Our code for this year is 7F9YJH55, a help line has been set up for Dean and it can be reached via 1300 ASKBAILEY. 

Lets predict what may unfold in 2021, for the time capsule.

Let’s start with the Gold, long the benchmark at this level.


Came from nowhere this year and was able to peak at the right time, some what luckily for him he only had ‘Puffy Shirt’ in the big dance. Not great scores and in a lesser year would not have been worthy of a final in the junk finals. We think that based on our Laffer curve vis a vis performance predictability we see Dave continuing to score at a lesser rate. It may be a big year for those that can improve.  Predicted Finish 3-9.  “Off the Boil”

“Puffy Shirt”

The new coach that really had a breakout year in 2020. Beat some heavy hitters on the way, now he has to follow up. A bit like Sister Margaret Mead trying to follow up her world wide hit “The Lords Prayer” back in the seventies. It’s a tough gig. BUT IT CAN BE DONE. We think that all he needed was a bit of confidence. The JARGAN Foundation has once again proven it’s worth and all that time and money has created a problem for the other coaches in the competition. Predicted Finish 1 – 5. “The New Sexy”

Black Hats (Thank you for your service).

The best performed coach internationally, by a fair way. But as we have said over and over it’s when you score the points that count. Sounds like he missed ‘tactics 101’ at Kapooka.

This year it might just be his year. Predicted Finish 1-4. “ONE TO WATCH”

No Passengers

2020 saw the start of the gradual sad decline of a legit Dream Team Legend. A bit on the boring side for my taste though to be honest. Really spent all his bullets in the last ½ of the last third of the Home and Away season and nothing left for the finals. Ranked in the top 8,000 on the international ranking chart where once he was top 10. I have been wanting to use this phrase for ten years, “Prefer Others”. Predicted finish 4 – 9th

The Real Kick it to Goodes

Captains win Matches. Handed the double chance to his brother, Like in his Public Service ‘Career’ he just seems to out of his depth at this level. But really, can anyone be out of their depth in the Public Service? Predicted finish 10 – 16th “Overwhelmed”

BRAMZ United

Once, ‘allegedly’ went through a season undefeated, well if he really did he would be in the Hall of Fame surely. Uncharacteristically had a shocker last year. Once considered to be a savant in this competition and must now change with the times. Predicted Finish 3 – 8th “Yesterdays Man” 


Missed the Jump this year, was he doing too much? I mean getting Puffy Shirt to the big dance would suck the marrow out of anyone, it may have been too many balls in the air for the Champ.

With one week left he was still outside the top eight, but as he was quoted as saying, ‘Did you really thinks I wouldn’t make it? Really?’ Well we thought you were gone Wayne. With Philip off his hands he should find another 10% which should see him back in the mix. Predicted Finish 2 – 5th “Smooth”

The Simpsons

Behind his back they refer to him as ‘The Dud Brother’ although he has shown promise in previous years. Imagine being able to pick the brains of Hall of Famer JARGAN, at the dinner table every night of the season. He should be further along in his development. But this IS the Oberon League. We think that this year is ‘Sydney or the Bush’ for this franchise. Predicted Finish 6 – 10th “Overdue”

Usain Casbolt 

Promised big things and has shown a clean pair of heels to many more senior coaches, but there are people out there, fond of conspiracy theories, who doubt that the young man even exists. These nuts  claim that they are yet to see No Passengers and Usain Casbolt in the same room together and that this franchise is just there to assist Steve when required. A ‘Sleeper’ if you will. Books will be written and web pages will spring up but we may never know the truth. Much like JFK and Who shot JR really. Predicted Finish 7 – 14th. “Suspect”

Close Talker

Made way for JARGAN in the last round of the season, almost pre-ordained to happen that, willed into existence perhaps? Geeze talk about putting the cart in front of the horse! The young man from Wangaratta had already booked a coach class ticket to Melbourne for the finals. That cost him.

Would have been a perfect candidate for Wayne’s mentoring program but for the Chinese Virus.

Predicted finish 1 – 15th , oops I meant 11 -15th sorry about that. “Enigma”

B’s Boys

What does one say about Bianca? Some say we need her in the competition to achieve our gender diversity quota, we dispute that we even need a quota because we even have an Italian coach as well. Well and truly DIVERSIFIED AF I would say. Predicted Finish 11 – 16th “Necessary” 

Angry Penguin

If he logs on in time. Some say that he doesn’t really want to play finals football. We know that to be a fact. Sometimes when he wants to he can match it with the best, other times it’s almost as if his mind wanders and he has no clue. We wish the real Dean Herbert would stand up and take his place in the pantheon of O League coaches but he always disappoints. Predicted finish 9th “Time to man up”

One Team Wonders

Our South Australian franchise is like a shopping mall built in the 70’s, really needs to spruce, one could almost call him our very own P-76, for it’s time a quantum advance on everything else. But we really need him to embrace 2000 style football. For the good of footy we need John to step up this year and represent the city of churches. Predicted Finish 7 – 14th 

The Amalfi Warrior.

Four time, that’s four time Mussolini Medalist and foundation member, ethnically diverse, swarthy, and, on his day, technically as good a coach as any other coloured coach we have ever had. We think that after last season being named as coach of the week for round 3 he is on the cusp, what ever that means of producing a ‘Special Season’ Predicted Finish 3 – 11th “An Idea who’s time has come”

Outside the Clique

Twenty one thousand positions below the ‘Warrior’, that says it all, 1,000 to one to make the eight, but that’s still a chance right? Yes, Clancy for on brief moment in time, showed us something two years ago, and surely class doesn’t leave you that quickly? We think the Covid had a bit to do with his fall from grace last year what with match timings changing so often and y’know tempo of war and stuff. We like to think that with a stable fixture this year Outside the clique may eventually find himself ‘inside the clique’ again. (See what I did there?) Predicted finish 10th – 15th “Mutual Support”

The Bromley Boys

Phew to say 2020 was a disappointment would be an understatement, and that’s an understatement.

Once a feared coach in this competition but of late coaching like the board has already implemented a succession plan for the team. Serves them right if he does a ‘Malthouse’ and wins the whole bloody thing this year. Can’t see it ourselves. Predicted finish 10th – 16th “C’MON!” 

4 thoughts on “”

  1. Surely I should be CHF – I was made for that position – in fact, it’s my birthright!!!! What are the selectors thinking? Yes that’s right, there weren’t thinking!!! We need wholesale changes to the selection committee and we need them now. I’m prepared to step up!!!!

  2. JARGAN, you were seriously considered for CHF but the thought of three Hall of Famers such as yourself, No Passengers and Kool Kats forming a centre line to rival the famous Bourke Barrott and Clay of the Richmond football club was just too delicious for us.. And our special selector Bruce Mcxxxxxx who asked not to be named.. Although in retrospect No Passengers’ slot was a bit iffy.


  3. I have been with Bramz since I was a boy and can’t believe how badly he is treated by the administration. Big word for a young kid I know, but you should be ashamed of yourself.

    1. Good for you young man, We all have our favourites of course, I, that is we, hope that you live long enough to see your Hero win another title.

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