Awards 2020

Opening Monologue and ‘Welcome to Country ‘ by ‘Smooth’ Wayne Pollock.


New Champion and now 2 time Champion The Gold, (I didn’t vote for him myself). Receiving his ‘PATCHES O’HAULIHAN TROPHY’ from fellow two time Champion and Hall of Famer JARGAN.

HALL of FAME Presentation 2020

Newest Hall of Fame recipient the Gold, (I didn’t vote for him myself) showing off his gold ring and certificate awarded to him by the Committee. It has to be said that this is the first recipient of this award since JARGAN in 2015.
Some would say that this award takes precedence over the O’Haulihan in order of merit and it’s recipient is afforded the right to be on the committee for all future considerations for this prestigious award

The Paddle

Quite probably the most irrelevent award in professional sports, ‘the Paddle’ is awarded to whomever, in the bottom eight, desires to continue managing their team, or not, post home and away season.
This award has gone to the Angry Penguin a total of four times, from memory.
So for all those interested here is a picture.

The MANDELA, named after the Captain of South America, and is presented to the member who represents the values which represent all that is good about this competition.
2019 is the year that it goes to a male for the first time. about bloody time.

Is this Little Ben’s first award, other than novelty awards of course. No, wait, there was the 2300 many years ago.


Not to be confused with the Canadian award of the same name. Awarded for courage and not given lightly…. Well there was that one time.

PUFFY SHIRT awarded Star of Courage By KITG
at the Perger Room Open Day
(in the Background KITG’s Big V)

This years award went to Puffy Shirt for God knows what, in what is considered a first this award was given to a coach from outside Victoria Barracks in St.Kilda road Melbourne.


The award dedicated to the recognition that no matter what natural ability one has that there is still a far greater ‘God Given’ ability necessary for success. Heart , the ability to fight for every point, regardless of the importance of the match, a certain hatred for losing, one might say fear? What made Ernest Shackleton go on when all seemed lost? DESMOND DOSS at heartbreak ridge went back time and time agin to save 75 comrades, what made Leo Barry close his eyes and leap into the stratosphere in 2005?. Unfortunately this award celebrates the exact opposite of this gift, it is for the rest of us, those that take the path of least resistance, that would rather throw a match in order to get home for the next episode of Game of Thrones, just one more scone, you know the one, Last year the award went to BRAMZ United, (Again)


This award celebrates the knucklehead in us all. The ability to grasp defeat from the Jaws of victory. In fact better known as the coaching blunder of the year. This year, not for the first, or last time the winner is Angry Penguin. Could have been for any number of incidents through out the year. But the Committee chose the fact that he beat an 82 year old opponent in the GF, if you can call it that, who had been confined to bed for the last 6 weeks of the competition. AND it was a wafer thin margin. Looking smart in his 2500 club gold watch he is seen receiving the award from ‘Smooth’ Wayne Pollock


This award will most likely stay with incumbent the Close Talker for as long as scotch, and the coaching box exists. This picture is from last year but I have a feeling we can use it again in 2021,22

2 thoughts on “Awards 2020

  1. Geeze, little benny has been in a good paddock, It has been said that he went to the doctor, who asked him to open his mouth and say Oink.**

    ** Old Joke, Credit Norm MacDonald


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